Joke thread

[ColinBellsjockstrap]

Man:- "What's the difference between a penis and a leg of chicken?"


Girl:- "I don't know"


Man:- "Do you want to come on a picnic?"



Jewish Kamikaze pilot.......crashed his plane in his brother's scrapyard.




Tramp was walking past the synagogue in the pouring freezing rain, and the Rabbi was standing on the steps......

Tramp:- "Have you got 50p for a bed Rabbi?"


Rabbi:- "Sure, bring it round, and i'll have a look at it"





Bernard Manning 1977

 

[TangerineSteve17]

I don't like to brag, but I can play every single card game except one.

Go to Youtube and type in "Eskimo Feet" There's loads of cool footage.

Bruce Springstein - I was born in the Usa. Crap song. Only a fucking American could write shit like that.

 

[Squelch]

My girlfriend drew a map of India then asked me, "Does Mumbai look big in this?"

 

[BillyBonds]

My girlfriend drew a map of India then asked me, "Does Mumbai look big in this?"

???

Should that be your dyslexic g'friend?

 

[2sheikhs]

Man:- "What's the difference between a penis and a leg of chicken?"


Girl:- "I don't know"


Man:- "Do you want to come on a picnic?"





Why would you want someone to grab hold of your knob, bite the skin off it and then sprinkle salt on it?

 

[TangerineSteve17]

I went to a pet shop, I asked the assistant, "Can I have a goldfish?"
He said "Sure, you want an aquarium?"
I said "I don't care what star sign he is"

I went on holdiay to see family in Australia, my gran said "Who did you fly with?"
I said "I don't know that names of all the other passengers!"

I spilled tomato sauce all over my white jacket, so I cleaned it dog shampoo, it said on the bottle 'for a nice shiny coat'

While driving I swerved to avoid some small nails that had been dropped on the road. Couldn't believe it when the police arrested me for tacks evasion.

 

[foetus]

Man:- "What's the difference between a penis and a leg of chicken?"


Girl:- "I don't know"


Man:- "Do you want to come on a picnic?"





Why would you want someone to grab hold of your knob, bite the skin off it and then sprinkle salt on it?

 

[Uwe Rosler]

I went to a pet shop, I asked the assistant, "Can I have a goldfish?"
He said "Sure, you want an aquarium?"
I said "I don't care what star sign he is"

I went on holdiay to see family in Australia, my gran said "Who did you fly with?"
I said "I don't know that names of all the other passengers!"

I spilled tomato sauce all over my white jacket, so I cleaned it dog shampoo, it said on the bottle 'for a nice shiny coat'

While driving I swerved to avoid some small nails that had been dropped on the road. Couldn't believe it when the police arrested me for tacks evasion.

 

[TangerineSteve17]

In my eyes, the best ever invention is contact lenses.

Just so people don't think I'm weird walking in the park on my own I always carry a bag of shit with me.

Had to help the wife clear the table this afternoon. She can't even hold the cue properly.

 

[hackneyslim]

In my eyes, the best ever invention is contact lenses.

Just so people don't think I'm weird walking in the park on my own I always carry a bag of shit with me.

Had to help the wife clear the table this afternoon. She can't even hold the cue properly.

Please stop and write the book you think is in you.