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Joke thread
- Thread starter mrcunny
- Start date
BackofJeanette
Well-Known Member
- Joined
- 20 Apr 2011
- Messages
- 1,579
A doctor is sat in his shared practice examining a patient when another doctor suddenly bursts in through the door.
"Dr. Smith, you've got to come to my room quick!" he gasped.
"I have a woman in my room who has a vagina like a watermelon!"
The doctor thought this has to be something he has to see so he follows his colleague into his room where the woman is lying on her back with her legs open.
The doctor looks at the vagina for a few minutes, frowning before saying,
"I don't understand, Dr. Walsh, this woman's vagina looks perfectly normal to me."
"Taste it!" replies the Dr.
Take one whole chicken... some garlic... a lemon... some pancetta... and put them in a large pot...
Then shove it up your jumper and run like fuck through the checkouts...
"Dr. Smith, you've got to come to my room quick!" he gasped.
"I have a woman in my room who has a vagina like a watermelon!"
The doctor thought this has to be something he has to see so he follows his colleague into his room where the woman is lying on her back with her legs open.
The doctor looks at the vagina for a few minutes, frowning before saying,
"I don't understand, Dr. Walsh, this woman's vagina looks perfectly normal to me."
"Taste it!" replies the Dr.
Take one whole chicken... some garlic... a lemon... some pancetta... and put them in a large pot...
Then shove it up your jumper and run like fuck through the checkouts...
A
A
Anonymous
Guest
JULES said:why did the chicken cross the road?
because it was stuffed in anthony worrel thompson`s jacket
Why did the dinosaur cross the road ?...... because chickens hadn't evolved yet.
NASA send two monkeys and a woman to space.
Radio messages:
NASA to monkey 1: Optimise life support systems and recalibrate radiation monitoring equipment
NASA to monkey 2: Check trajectory and compensate if required using formula (m2-3n)x(5-m3)
NASA to woman: Feed Monkeys - Touch fuck all.
Radio messages:
NASA to monkey 1: Optimise life support systems and recalibrate radiation monitoring equipment
NASA to monkey 2: Check trajectory and compensate if required using formula (m2-3n)x(5-m3)
NASA to woman: Feed Monkeys - Touch fuck all.
Oohvonkyvonky
Well-Known Member
A man was walking his dog through the graveyard when he saw another man crouching behind a gravestone.
"Morning!" he said.
The other man replies, "No, just having a shit."
"Morning!" he said.
The other man replies, "No, just having a shit."
southstand117
Well-Known Member
Wife - "Can I drive?"
Husband - "No. I'm fine"
Wife - "Oh, please let me. I really want to!"
Husband - "No"
Wife - "I tell you what, if you let me drive, just for a bit, when we get home I'll give you a blowjob"
Husband - "Really?"
Wife - "Promise"
Husband - "Oh go on then"
..."And that, your honour, is the final entry from the black box on the Costa Concordia".
Husband - "No. I'm fine"
Wife - "Oh, please let me. I really want to!"
Husband - "No"
Wife - "I tell you what, if you let me drive, just for a bit, when we get home I'll give you a blowjob"
Husband - "Really?"
Wife - "Promise"
Husband - "Oh go on then"
..."And that, your honour, is the final entry from the black box on the Costa Concordia".
chrismcfcturner
Member
- Joined
- 13 Jan 2012
- Messages
- 24
italian divers searching the stricken liner for survivors came across 2 glaswegians at the bar,they told the divers to FUCK OFF,they are all inclusive and have 3 days left!!!