Joke thread

[BlueBearBoots]

I was in a supermarket and a woman at a tester stall said "Hello! Would you like to try a piece of this new ham?"
I said "Is it cured?"
She said "No, it's dead"



Haha TS joke of the day!

 

[TangerineSteve17]

I'm terrible at golf, way below par.

Been trying everything to get my young stepson to love me. I'm even letting him win at hopscotch. It's making no difference though. Ah well, back to square one.

Nobody reads my great jokes, argh who am I trying to kid?

 

[jimharri]

I was in a supermarket and a woman at a tester stall said "Hello! Would you like to try a piece of this new ham?"
I said "Is it cured?"
She said "No, it's dead"



Haha TS joke of the day!

I'd stick to the painting if I were you D!

 

[flyer]

My mate has his own business selling bonsai trees.

He's doing so well, he's looking for smaller premises

 

[Ancient Citizen]

My Mrs says sex is much better on holiday.
I wasn't expecting that kind of postcard.

 

[pudge]

When copy and paste goes wrong...

 

[jimharri]

There's a hell of a lot in there that could be considered borderline ban-worthy. Where would you start if you're a mod?

 

[TangerineSteve17]

Benefit of the doubt surely, surely he didn't read that lot before copying and pasting.

 

[SteWadda]

"A Paki Bastard" is the worse one, it's not even trying to be a joke.

 

[TangerineSteve17]

Just when I thought I had contaminated the thread to only post clean puns.. :) The infection is incomplete. Must try harder.