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Joke thread
- Thread starter mrcunny
- Start date
TangerineSteve17
Well-Known Member
I'm embarrassed calling them jokes tbh. But I was going for a double meaning of 'fed' As in to be given food. Fed up with food, I don't know. :/
JoeMercer'sWay
Well-Known Member
i love them and got it.
BlueBearBoots
Well-Known Member
- Joined
- 15 Jan 2009
- Messages
- 11,789
TangerineSteve17 said:I got sacked yesterday :( My boss held me down and tea-bagged me.
People say I take after my dear old grandad. Unfortunately he's ill and on the transplant list. He's a man after my own heart that fellow.
I'm sick to death of eating food all the time. I'm fed up with the stuff.
o P
This one was good :)
D
D
dronefromsector7g
Guest
Two string beans were walking down the road, when one is hit by a car.
They take him to the hospital. He has surgery. Afterwards the surgeon comes and talks to the other string bean. I have good news and I have bad news...
The good news is your friend made it through surgery just fine. The string bean said okay so what's the bad news. The surgeon explained he's going to be a vegetable for the rest of his life.
They take him to the hospital. He has surgery. Afterwards the surgeon comes and talks to the other string bean. I have good news and I have bad news...
The good news is your friend made it through surgery just fine. The string bean said okay so what's the bad news. The surgeon explained he's going to be a vegetable for the rest of his life.
Ancient Citizen
Well-Known Member
- Joined
- 26 Jul 2009
- Messages
- 15,711
Oscar Pistorious has sacked his legal team and hired Celtic's, as he's heard you can lose both legs and still win.
TangerineSteve17
Well-Known Member
My friend holds down 2 jobs. He works in the morning pulling feathers out of chickens, and in the evening he makes money doing crochet. He's a plucky sew and sew.
Got a big jug of beautiful beer at the pub, or was it a ewer? anyway whatevet it was, it was pitcheresque.
I'm a timid guy, but when the boss screamed at me for miscounting his stock, well.... I had to retaliate.
Got a big jug of beautiful beer at the pub, or was it a ewer? anyway whatevet it was, it was pitcheresque.
I'm a timid guy, but when the boss screamed at me for miscounting his stock, well.... I had to retaliate.
BlueBearBoots
Well-Known Member
- Joined
- 15 Jan 2009
- Messages
- 11,789
TangerineSteve17 said:My friend holds down 2 jobs. He works in the morning pulling feathers out of chickens, and in the evening he makes money doing crochet. He's a plucky sew and sew.
Got a big jug of beautiful beer at the pub, or was it a ewer? anyway whatevet it was, it was pitcheresque.
I'm a timid guy, but when the boss screamed at me for miscounting his stock, well.... I had to retaliate.
Hmmm were those crackers blue stripe?
Ste1969
Well-Known Member
My wife came home with a new pair of shoes,
"I've bought a pair of fuck me shoes, " she said,
"great, get them on and lets get upstairs, " I said,
"no, it's not those type, it's the type that are going to make you say, 'Fuck me!' when you see the price, " she replied
"I've bought a pair of fuck me shoes, " she said,
"great, get them on and lets get upstairs, " I said,
"no, it's not those type, it's the type that are going to make you say, 'Fuck me!' when you see the price, " she replied
TangerineSteve17
Well-Known Member
I was Tennis Umpire as my son was having a fantastic game. He reached a world record of 35 straight aces. I can't fault the lad.
I don't get to many games, I'm an armchair fan. Currently I'm watching the match in my Easy Recliner 4000 series. It's one of my favourites.
Notorious prostitute 'Big Fanny Felicia' has been arrested for killing a client during a threesome. The surviving participant told the press, "Luckily I'm not one to beat around the bush, my poor mate Ken though, he's gone and kicked the bucket."
I don't get to many games, I'm an armchair fan. Currently I'm watching the match in my Easy Recliner 4000 series. It's one of my favourites.
Notorious prostitute 'Big Fanny Felicia' has been arrested for killing a client during a threesome. The surviving participant told the press, "Luckily I'm not one to beat around the bush, my poor mate Ken though, he's gone and kicked the bucket."