Joke thread

[Barcon]

Not sure what's worse. His music videos or his jokes.

 

[supermario]

Apparently Liverpool are looking at the loan signing of Michel Vorm and are also chasing the £15m signature of Klaas Jan Huntelaar.

Vorm is temporary, Klaas is permanent.

 

[jimharri]

Apparently Liverpool are looking at the loan signing of Michel Vorm and are also chasing the £15m signature of Klaas Jan Huntelaar.

Vorm is temporary, Klaas is permanent.

A marked step up from Tangerine's efforts. I tittered.

 

[TangerineSteve17]

Apparently Liverpool are looking at the loan signing of Michel Vorm and are also chasing the £15m signature of Klaas Jan Huntelaar.

Vorm is temporary, Klaas is permanent.

A marked step up from Tangerine's efforts. I tittered.

Aye, can't argue with that, made me laugh too.

I'll just lower the tone..

I said to my mate, "How can I look up things on the internet?
He said "Yahoo!"
I said "Did you like that question?"

Never trust referees. Whistle blowers, the lot of 'em.

The taps in my mates kitchen were wobbly, I said "Is this loose?"
He said "No, it's normal sink."

I said to a mate "I've put on that much weight, and stay in bed that long, I've got pressure sores."
He said "You lucky bastard! But remember, don't fall in love. It's just a job to them."

 

[BlueBearBoots]

Apparently Liverpool are looking at the loan signing of Michel Vorm and are also chasing the £15m signature of Klaas Jan Huntelaar.

Vorm is temporary, Klaas is permanent.

A marked step up from Tangerine's efforts. I tittered.

Aye, can't argue with that, made me laugh too.

I'll just lower the tone..

I said to my mate, "How can I look up things on the internet?
He said "Yahoo!"
I said "Did you like that question?"

Never trust referees. Whistle blowers, the lot of 'em.

The taps in my mates kitchen were wobbly, I said "Is this loose?"
He said "No, it's normal sink."

I said to a mate "I've put on that much weight, and stay in bed that long, I've got pressure sores."
He said "You lucky bastard! But remember, don't fall in love. It's just a job to them."

Sometimes it would help if you put an explanation in brackets or is that just me being thick? Lol

 

[TangerineSteve17]

A marked step up from Tangerine's efforts. I tittered.

Aye, can't argue with that, made me laugh too.

I'll just lower the tone..

I said to my mate, "How can I look up things on the internet?
He said "Yahoo!"
I said "Did you like that question?"

Never trust referees. Whistle blowers, the lot of 'em.

The taps in my mates kitchen were wobbly, I said "Is this loose?"
He said "No, it's normal sink."

I said to a mate "I've put on that much weight, and stay in bed that long, I've got pressure sores."
He said "You lucky bastard! But remember, don't fall in love. It's just a job to them."

Sometimes it would help if you put an explanation in brackets or is that just me being thick? Lol

Well people have had trouble before :/ that's not a good thing. These are jokes/puzzles hhehe

 

[Dicko69]

The taps in my mates kitchen were wobbly, I said "Is this loose?"
He said "No, it's normal sink."

I said to a mate "I've put on that much weight, and stay in bed that long, I've got pressure sores."
He said "You lucky bastard! But remember, don't fall in love. It's just a job to them."

Love your jokes, but just don't get these 2

 

[Mcfcsule91]

what do rastas order when they go to a steak house?

Buffalo shoulder



what do mexican carpet fitters shout to each other?

UNDERLAYYY UNDERLAYYY!!!!!!

 

[TangerineSteve17]

The taps in my mates kitchen were wobbly, I said "Is this loose?"
He said "No, it's normal sink."

I said to a mate "I've put on that much weight, and stay in bed that long, I've got pressure sores."
He said "You lucky bastard! But remember, don't fall in love. It's just a job to them."

Love your jokes, but just don't get these 2[/quote]

Always dubious when someone says something positive in here. It is the joke thread after all! :)

Is this loose? = Is this sluice?
Pressure sores = Precious whores

Maybe it only sounds that way when I say it!

 

[Barcon]

What do you call a Mexican woman with her legs cut off above the knees?

Cuntswaylow.