Joke thread

[jonmcfc]

How many animals can you fit in a pair of womens trousers?

2 calfs,1 beaver, 1 ass,countless hares,an occasional cock, and a fish no-one can find.





My girlfriend caught me blow drying my penis and asked what was i doing?

Apparently heating your dinner was not the right answer

 

[ob]

Just been offered a new job by this bloke, £600 a week working for the brittle bone society... I snapped his fucking hand off.!!

 

[mrcunny]

little known fact. Robert Mugabe has relatives in Yorkshire but they spell their name backwards. They are known as the Ebagum family

 

[jimharri]

Reporter; "Hello,Mr Redknapp,We understand you've signed a Striker from Aston Villa?''

Harry Redknapp; "No I haven't.''

Reporter; "Well you're usually involved in Bent deals".

 

[paphos-mcfc]

George Michael has sympathised with the captain of the stricken Italian cruise ship saying. "I'm often left abandoned and laying on my side with a badly damaged bottom after a night's cruising".

lol. Quality!

 

[mrcunny]

 

[gaudinho's stolen car]

My girlfriend gave me a blow job today and swallowed for the first time in nearly 5 years. I'm starting to think she might be coming out of her coma.

 

[mrcunny]

My girlfriend gave me a blow job today and swallowed for the first time in nearly 5 years. I'm starting to think she might be coming out of her coma.

haha...

 

[BackofJeanette]

Harry Redknapp has reported Roberto Mancini to the FA after Mancini waved an imaginary tax return at him.

 

[gazvannin]

Recently remarried Paul McCartney was asked if he still had thoughts about his ex-wife. "Not much really,........ but thinking about it, she was a great help with planting out in the springtime"