squirtyflower
Well-Known Member
jim was there. so its gospel
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Joke thread
- Thread starter mrcunny
- Start date
JULES
Well-Known Member
A Native American brave was curious as to how he had received his name. So he went to speak to his father, the chieftain of the tribe.
"Father," he asked, "how is it that I acquired my name.
The noble chieftain began a long narrative for his youngest son.
"Well, my son, I named you and both of your brothers for an event which occurred on the day each of you were born. For example, the day your eldest brother was born, I saw a deer running swiftly through the forest, so I named him Deer Running Swiftly.
"Likewise, when your middle brother was born, the rain was pouring hard outside of the wigwam, so I named him Rain Pouring Hard.
"Why do you ask, Two Dogs Fucking?"
I would take that joke to antiques roadshow and get it valued
jimharri
Moderator
Wasn't it nice to watch Japanese women getting royally fucked last night, and not have to worry about clearing your browser history!
Zubrman
Well-Known Member
I have a friend that is half Indian.
Ian.
Ian.
JoeMercer'sWay
Well-Known Member
Saw a miserable looking man, with no arms, carrying his shopping home the other day.
Felt sorry for him, looked like he was carrying a huge weight on his shoulders.
Felt sorry for him, looked like he was carrying a huge weight on his shoulders.
Zubrman
Well-Known Member
I went to the shop and said, "I need a battery so I can tell the time."
The man said, "Is it for a clock?"
I said, "I don't fucking know, that's why I asked you for a battery."
The man said, "Is it for a clock?"
I said, "I don't fucking know, that's why I asked you for a battery."
Bill Walker
Well-Known Member
An Australian guy is travelling around the Greek Islands . He walks into a bar and, by chance, is served by an Australian barmaid. As she takes his order, a beer, she notices his accent. Over the course of the evening they get chatting. At the end of her shift he asks if she wants to come back to his place.
Although she is attracted to him she says no. He then offers to pay her $200 to sleep with him.
As she is travelling around the world, and is short of funds, she agrees.
The next night the guy turns up again. Again he orders a beer and after showing her plenty of attention, asks if she will sleep with him again for $200. She remembers the payout from night before and is only too happy to agree.
This goes on for 5 nights. On the 6th night the guy comes in again, orders a beer but goes and sits in the corner. The barmaid thinks that if she pays him more attention then, maybe she can shake some more cash out of him. So she goes over and sits next to him.
She asks him where he's from in Australia ...
' Melbourne ', he tells her.
'So am I. What suburb?' she enquires.
'Glen Iris' he replies.
'That's amazing,' she says excitedly, 'so am I - what street?'
' Cameo Street ' he replies.
'This is unbelievable.........' she says, her voice quavering;
'What number?'
'Number 20', he replies.
She is totally astonished. 'You are NOT going to believe this,' she screams, 'but I'm from number 22! My parents still live there!'
'I know...' he says, 'Your Dad gave me $1,000 to give to you...
Although she is attracted to him she says no. He then offers to pay her $200 to sleep with him.
As she is travelling around the world, and is short of funds, she agrees.
The next night the guy turns up again. Again he orders a beer and after showing her plenty of attention, asks if she will sleep with him again for $200. She remembers the payout from night before and is only too happy to agree.
This goes on for 5 nights. On the 6th night the guy comes in again, orders a beer but goes and sits in the corner. The barmaid thinks that if she pays him more attention then, maybe she can shake some more cash out of him. So she goes over and sits next to him.
She asks him where he's from in Australia ...
' Melbourne ', he tells her.
'So am I. What suburb?' she enquires.
'Glen Iris' he replies.
'That's amazing,' she says excitedly, 'so am I - what street?'
' Cameo Street ' he replies.
'This is unbelievable.........' she says, her voice quavering;
'What number?'
'Number 20', he replies.
She is totally astonished. 'You are NOT going to believe this,' she screams, 'but I'm from number 22! My parents still live there!'
'I know...' he says, 'Your Dad gave me $1,000 to give to you...
chris63
Well-Known Member
Adrunk staggers into a Catholic Church, enters a confessional booth, sits down, but says nothing.The Priest coughs a few times to get his attention but the drunk continues to sit there.Finally, the Priest pounds three times on the wall.The drunk mumbles, "ain't no use knockin'there's no paper on this side either!
Alex the Blue
Well-Known Member
- Joined
- 14 Sep 2010
- Messages
- 1,276
I get sick to death of listening to people whingeing about how hard life is for them. A good friend of mine recently lost both legs and can no longer speak, you wont catch him making a song and dance about it..