Joke thread

A blind man hires a prostitute but as he's blind, he ends up with the poxiest old mare on the street. They go upstairs and he starts to rub her spotty arse.
"Don't worry" she says, "its only acne."
"Thank fook for that!" says the blind man. "I thought it was the price list!"
 
I saw Arnold Schwarzenegger eating a chocolate egg. I said, "I bet I know what your favourite Christian festival is." He said, "You have to love Easter, baby
 
A teacher in class notices a little puddle below Suzie's chair.
"Ah, Suzie, why didn't you put your hand up?"
"I did, Miss, but it just ran through me fucking fingers."
 
What's the difference between a gay and a microwave?

A microwave won't brown your sausage.
 
A teacher in class notices a little puddle below Suzie's chair.
"Ah, Suzie, why didn't you put your hand up?"
"I did, Miss, but it just ran through me fucking fingers."
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90c8lxMZWwLRnkvhYFOzm5ryxfOBZ5iBXHuQnDu5//2Q== 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
Jason-Manford-The-Producers-e1414157477440.jpg
 

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