Joke thread

[Hamann Pineapple]

A woman wakes up after having a vaginal tuck to find three bunches of flowers on the window sill. One from her surgeon to say "all went well", one from her husband to say "he loved her and to get well soon" and one from Tommy in the burns ward to say "thanks for the new ears!"

 

[Le Havre Oswald]

what to vietnamese magicians say after they have done a trick.






























DANNNNNAAAAANNNNNNNGGGGGG!!!!


i made it up myself. ile get my coat.
:D

 

[wayne71]

Wayne Rooney has visited Fabrice Muamba in hospital. "It's great, he can almost string a sentence together" said Fabrice.

 

[bluebandits]

Me and the missus were walking past a swanky new restaurant the other night and she said " Did you get that gorgeous smell coming out of there? ", so being the soft bastard that I am, we walked past it again!

 

[ErlingHaaland]

Reports indicate that Fabrice Muamba can breathe unassisted, can recognise people and has regained limited control of his limbs............Liverpool have offered a swap deal for Andy Carroll

 

[paphos-mcfc]

I will never forget my sons first words.............................................................................Where the fuck have you been for the past 24 years you bastard..!!!!!

 

[mrcunny]

As the coffin was being lowered into the ground, at the Traffic Wardens funeral, a voice from inside screams "Im not dead, Im not dead, let me out !!!" To which the smiling Vicar says "too late pal, the paperworks already been f*cking done !!!"

 

[mrcunny]

My mate Paddy has been panic buying diesel, so far he has 4 pairs of jeans, 8 shirts and 6 bottles of aftershave.

 

[Sparkys-Army]

what to vietnamese magicians say after they have done a trick.


























DANNNNNAAAAANNNNNNNGGGGGG!!!!


i made it up myself. ile get my coat.
:D

We can tell, it's shit ;)

 

[paphos-mcfc]