Joke thread

[Zuriblue]

Time for a singsong

 

[dickie davies]

Yesterday morning wifey was watching James Martin's cooking show
Chris Kamara was the guest and some celebrity chef was cooking
As the chef was preparing the food he reminisced about when George best came into his restaurant and what a lovely guy he was
Kamara said "he was unbelievable. George would drop a shoulder and stick it in from any angle and he wasn't bad at football either "

 

[Sam Armstrong]

The final scores from the latest round of matches in the Three Musketeers Football League are just in .....

4 - 1
4 - 1
4 - 1
4 - 1
and
4 - 4

 

[Indaparkside]

My wife’s just divorced me cos I’m a compulsive gambler

All I can think about is how to win her back

 

[ray21]

Just came out of Tesco and somebody threw a jar of Mayonnaise at me. I though what the Hell man.

 

[dronefromsector7G]

I've just got myself one of those anti-bullying wrist bands... I nicked it off a fat ginger kid with glasses!

 

[sir baconface]

Just came out of Tesco and somebody threw a jar of Mayonnaise at me. I though what the Hell man.

Not a great response when hit by Tesco Finest.

 

[lefty goldblatt]

Enya's rugby team have put an official complaint to the Rugby Football Union, saying their opening 3 matches put them at a big disadvantage. They are

Sale (a)
Sale (a)
Sale (a)

 

[bluemoon32]

I really, really hate those bleach blocks that people put in toilets.

Sorry - I just had to get that out of my cistern.

 

[sir baconface]

I really, really hate those bleach blocks that people put in toilets.

Sorry - I just had to get that out of my cistern.

With shite like that, you should change your monicker to Bloomoon32.