joke thread....

hammocity

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20 Dec 2009
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4,538
I'm 58 years of age and there's been some dreadful events during my lifetime and Jill Dando's murder is one that really left me cold when the news broke. The Soham murders was another
Sorry pal, I'm old enough to remember the Moors Murders, not trying to have a laugh at your expense, but too much for some, I apologise.
 

Fiftyyearsandcounting

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25 Oct 2009
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I'm 58 years of age and there's been some dreadful events during my lifetime and Jill Dando's murder is one that really left me cold when the news broke. The Soham murders was another
Not really a joking matter but I do recall some TV interviewer getting tongue-tied over name and referred to her as Jan Dildo.
 

antspider

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Maybe an impossible request, the funniest joke I’ve ever read on here was a joke above a bloke with a big orange head,,, erm. Anyone know what page it is ? :)
 

antspider

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Away with the fairies
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A man walks into a bar and pauses: at the other end of the bar, there's this guy with a big orange head. Just kind of sitting there, mooning into his drink. So the man asks the bartender, "Say, what's up with the guy with the big orange head?" And the bartender says, "It's an interesting story. Buy him a drink and maybe he'll tell it to you."

So the man walks over and introduces himself and offers to buy a round. The guy with the big orange head says, "Yeah, I'll bet you want to know the story, huh?" To which the man replies, "Sure, if you don't mind."

The man with the big orange head sighs and says, "You know, I've gone over it in my mind a million times. Basically, it's like this: I was walking along the beach one day, when I stubbed my toe on something. I looked down, and there was an antique brass lamp. I picked it up and dusted it off a little -- when all of a sudden this enormous genie pops out!

"The genie thundered, 'You have released me from my ten-thousand year imprisonment, and I am in your debt. I will grant you three wishes as a token of my gratitude.'

The man at the bar is agape. The guy with the big orange head continues: "So I said, 'Wow, okay. Well, my first wish is to be fantastically wealthy.'

"The genie says, 'Your wish is granted.' And all of a sudden I have rings on my fingers and a crown on my head, and my wallet is full of money and a dozen ATM cards and the deed to a mansion in the hills -- I mean, I was loaded!

"So I said, 'Amazing! Okay, for my next wish , I want to be married to the most beautiful woman in the world.'

"The genie says, 'Your wish is granted.' And the ocean parts, and out walks this gorgeous woman in this beautiful dress, and she takes my hand and we fall in love and the genie marries us right there. It was incredible.

"The genie booms, 'You have one wish remaining.'"

The man with the big orange head pauses and sips his beer. He says, "Now, you know, this may be where I went wrong. I wished for a big orange head"
 

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