Joke thread

[toolah1511]

I just ordered 1 tonne of tippex.
Big mistake

 

[Squelch]

The Magnificent Seven appeared in a series of adverts for an aftershave.

It was filmed at Liverpool's Anfield football ground.

Only six of them took part, because Yul never wore cologne.

 

[Grassland Blue]

Seems I hit a nerve with my joke about the giants, so I won't tell the one about the difference between Batman and a Scouser....

 

[nmc]

Fuck off

That guy hasn't to be the bore of the century.

 

[BlueHammer85]

So this guy with premature ejaculation just came outta nowhere..

 

[tshirtman]

I got run over by a rental car today

Fucking Hertz!

 

[jimharri]

A clown held the door open for me the other day.

It was a nice jester.

 

[dronefromsector7G]

My sister bet me I couldn't make a car out of spaghetti.

You should've seen the look on her face as I drove pasta.

 

[chrishull]

Dim light bulbs or bright light bulbs.

Watts the difference?

 

[jimharri]

I have a Polish friend who’s a sound engineer in the music business.
Oh, and a Czech one too.