Joke thread

[jimharri]

There's nothing worse than having a Cranberries song stuck in your heeeeeeead, in your heeeeeead, in your head, in your head, in your hea, hea, hea, head....

 

[dronefromsector7G]

I asked the missus for our password when trying to log in to our online banking.
“It’s Ariel Cinderella Mickey Mouse Superman jack Sparrow Elsa Eeyore Madrid”.
“Why did you choose that?” I asked.
“The man said it had to have at least seven characters and include a capital”

 

[CrazyBlues]

The wife checked her husband's Hand Phone and found these names:
*The Tender one.*
*The Amazing one.*
*Lady of My Dreams.*
She got angry and called the first number to find out that was his Mother.
Then she called the second number on which his Sister replied.
When she dialed the third number, her own phone rang !!
She cried until her eyes got swollen because she had doubted her innocent husband.
So she gave him her whole month's salary to make up for it.

Husband took the money and bought a gift for his girlfriend whose name was saved as :
*Ah Seng Kedai motor.*
*PASS IT ALONG :*
Caution :
*ONLY TO MALE FRIENDS, PLEASE.*

 

[blue44]

what did the lesbian vampire say to the other lesbian vampire

" same time next month " !

 

[blue44]

not a joke but its still funny-poignant

" the difference between stupidy and genius,is that genius has its limits "

einstein

 

[johnmc]

The wife checked her husband's Hand Phone and found these names:
*The Tender one.*
*The Amazing one.*
*Lady of My Dreams.*
She got angry and called the first number to find out that was his Mother.
Then she called the second number on which his Sister replied.
When she dialed the third number, her own phone rang !!
She cried until her eyes got swollen because she had doubted her innocent husband.
So she gave him her whole month's salary to make up for it.

Husband took the money and bought a gift for his girlfriend whose name was saved as :
*Ah Seng Kedai motor.*
*PASS IT ALONG :*
Caution :
*ONLY TO MALE FRIENDS, PLEASE.*

Can someone explain please

 

[blue b4 the moon]

Can someone explain please

Glad it's not just me.

 

[sir baconface]

Nor me...

 

[Barcon]

Can someone explain please

Not me.

 

[George Hannah]

Google says 'Ah Seng Kedai motor' is a Malaysian motorbike repair Shop in Penang, but that doesn't seem to help

 

[aguero93:20]

Can someone explain please

Glad it's not just me.

Nor me...

Not me.

Google says 'Ah Seng Kedai motor' is a Malaysian motorbike repair Shop in Penang, but that doesn't seem to help

I can explain. It's a shit joke.

 

[BlueMoonRisin’]

I can explain. It's a shit joke.

It's not a joke, just shit.

 

[aguero93:20]

It's not a joke, just shit.

It is a joke of a joke.

 

[George Hannah]

I'd like to hear from @CrazyBlues

 

[Barcon]

It is a joke of a joke.

It's a travesty of a mockery of a sham.

 

[aguero93:20]

It's a travesty of a mockery of a sham.

Basically, the OP is a **** and probably a rag.

 

[RadcliffeRick]

It made me laugh and the guys who I work with!!

 

[dickie davies]

It made me laugh and the guys who I work with!!

Are they Malaysian?

You are an illegal gangmaster and I claim I shall report you to the authorities

 

[kippax4ever]

The wife checked her husband's Hand Phone and found these names:
*The Tender one.*
*The Amazing one.*
*Lady of My Dreams.*
She got angry and called the first number to find out that was his Mother.
Then she called the second number on which his Sister replied.
When she dialed the third number, her own phone rang !!
She cried until her eyes got swollen because she had doubted her innocent husband.
So she gave him her whole month's salary to make up for it.

Husband took the money and bought a gift for his girlfriend whose name was saved as :
*Ah Seng Kedai motor.*
*PASS IT ALONG :*
Caution :
*ONLY TO MALE FRIENDS, PLEASE.*

Merge with Willie Shakespeare thread as I don't get that either.

 

[TheRemainsOfTheDave]

Can someone explain please

I can't even tell where the joke ends.