Joke thread

[Blue Mist]

???

The joke has been put on here at least 3 times already so I thought rather than do the Titanic gif I would put that. Teach me to try and be clever !

 

[Big Swifty]

Too clever for my waning powers, I fear.

 

[Blue Mist]

Too clever for my waning powers, I fear.

I love it when I know what I am on about but nobody else does !

 

[TFC]

Did I tell you about my Mum and Dad? Both little people...and poor too....tbh I really dont think this is the appropriate thread.

 

[goatersnipple]

Stephen Hawkins went on a date.
Next day his career noticed he was covered in cuts all over him.
What the hell happened I thought you were going on a date.


"She stood me up"

 

[Big Swifty]

I expect Stephen Hawking had the same problem

 

[Tuearts right boot]

Stephen Hawkins went on a date.
Next day his career noticed he was covered in cuts all over him.
What the hell happened I thought you were going on a date.


"She stood me up"

You've got to admit it was funnier the first time

 

[Blue Mist]

You've got to admit it was funnier the first time

You mean when the OP got his name right ?

 

[Tuearts right boot]

You mean when the OP got his name right ?

No. About 100 pages back...

 

[Blue Mist]

Stephen Hawkins went on a date.
Next day his career noticed he was covered in cuts all over him.
What the hell happened I thought you were going on a date.


"She stood me up"

I think this 'joke' can rightly be classed as a Seaford. For those that don't know what a Seaford is, see the City Banned From Europe thread, (if you have a week or two to spare.)

 

[Wafty Cranker]

BREAKING NEWS: Police in Liverpool have arrested 3 of 4 well known Scouse Islamic terrorists. Bin Snortin, Bin Dealin and Bin Thievin are all now in police custody. They've searched the whole City, but still can't find Bin Workin.

 

[KS55]

BREAKING NEWS: Police in Liverpool have arrested 3 of 4 well known Scouse Islamic terrorists. Bin Snortin, Bin Dealin and Bin Thievin are all now in police custody. They've searched the whole City, but still can't find Bin Workin.

Did they catch Bin Dippa?

 

[EastStandLower]

I got chatting to a lumberjack in the pub.
He seemed like a decent feller...

 

[mikemcfc]

BREAKING NEWS: Police in Liverpool have arrested 3 of 4 well known Scouse Islamic terrorists. Bin Snortin, Bin Dealin and Bin Thievin are all now in police custody. They've searched the whole City, but still can't find Bin Workin.

he was the main one who hid in British Columbia who had a failed attempt at fishing then got a job for cover.
No Salmon bin Loggin.

 

[RadcliffeRick]

Did they catch Bin Dippa?

They found Bin Laaarrrin but let him go.

 

[Uwe Already]

I got chatting to a lumberjack in the pub.
He seemed like a decent feller...

Dare I mention the Irish bloke who asked his two mates to apply with him to an advertisement that said “tree fellers required”? My Mother was from Armagh, before anyone starts - and yes I am aware our ma was from Armagh ;)

 

[dronefromsector7G]

My local bus company is charging overweight people double as they take up two seats.

Harsh butt fare!

 

[nalari]

he was the main one who hid in British Columbia who had a failed attempt at fishing then got a job for cover.
No Salmon bin Loggin.

Reminds me of hearing that the Royal Newfoundland Constabulary had been called in the a St. John's department store upon hearing of a sighting of Bed Linen on the second floor...

 

[chris63]

Reminds me of a description of marriage I once heard:
For the first two years the newlyweds have tourist sex: in the laundry room, on the kitchen table, wherever they find themselves.
For the next ten years they have bedroom sex.
Eventually they move on to hallway sex: they pass each other in the hallway and say "fuck you."

 

[Big Swifty]

I think this page has really scraped the barrel