Joke thread

[happy daze]

I'm off to twitter

Right so soared off.

 

[Uwe Already]

Owl be reporting you lot

 

[MelbourneBlue]

I went to the pharmacy yesterday and asked the assistant what gets rid of the Coronavirus. She said ammonia cleaner. I said sorry I thought you worked here.

Just went in to Starbucks and the barista was wearing a face mask. I asked: Why are you wearing a surgical mask? She said: I’m not; it’s a coughy filter.

The World Health Organization has declared that dogs cannot transmit Coronavirus, and there is no reason to quarantine dogs anymore. W.H.O. let the dogs out!

 

[Bigg Bigg Blue]

Owl be reporting you lot

I don't give 2 hoots mate

 

[Whichonespink]

Owl be reporting you lot

For what? There's no boob pics

 

[SB Blue]

For what? There's no boob pics

Very Emusing

 

[Big Swifty]

I'm choughed....

 

[Uwe Already]

I have no egrets...

 

[dronefromsector7G]

I didn’t want to return and avocet to with anyone. Once bittern twice shy as they say.

 

[oakiecokie]

At my age I`m always short of breath.Bastard puffin and panting.

 

[EastStandLower]

A friend of mine tried to annoy me with his bird puns, but he soon realised that toucan play at that game.

I really wish I had posted this, your just a bunch of Blue Tits, your beginning to peck my head with it all.
However I'll Eagley await further response.

 

[Bill Walker]

Stealing clothes off washing lines ?
Been there , Done that ,
Got the Tee Shirt

 

[1.618034]

This thread seems to have taken a tern for the worst.

 

[Fiftyyearsandcounting]

Two owls playing billiards. First owl plays a foul shot, second owl claims two free shots.
First owl says "Two-Hits-To-Who"

 

[TFC]

In Tesco today, I was horrified to find they had no toilet paper at all.

Reluctantly I headed for the checkout and asked if they had any. A firm NO was the answer.

Walking back to the toilets with my pants around my ankles was a walk of shame I can tell you.

 

[yeseye]

The Germans have started to put their towels on hospital beds.

 

[dickie davies]

The World Health Organisation has contacted Athletico Madrid to ask their advice on ridding a virus from Europe

 

[Blueknows]

TO THE ****ER WHO STOLE MY SHOES WHEN I WAS ON THE BOUNCY CASTLE - ****ING GROW UP

 

[Blueknows]

BREAKING: The World Health Organization has announced that dogs cannot contract Covid-19
Dogs previously held in quarantine can now be released.
To be clear, WHO let the dogs out.....

 

[oakiecokie]

The Germans have started to put their towels on hospital beds.

Hahahahaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa.Just LO REALLY LOUD mate.Excellent and I`m nicking that one for my night out later today.