Joke thread

What do you have if you have nuts on your wall? Walnuts........... What do you have if you have nuts on your chest? Chestnuts......... What do you have if you have nuts on your chin?........... A cock in your mouth
 
kye1991 said:
What do you have if you have nuts on your wall? Walnuts........... What do you have if you have nuts on your chest? Chestnuts......... What do you have if you have nuts on your chin?........... A blow job

Edited it for you mate.
 
Why was the washing machine laughing?

Because he was taking the piss out of the undies.
 
dronefromsector7g said:
Why was the washing machine laughing?

Because he was taking the piss out of the undies.

What's white and falls out of trees.........a washing machine
What's blue and white and falls out of trees......a washing machine with a denim jacket on...


I'm here all week.
 
Taximania said:
A woman has twins, and gives them up for adoption. One of them goes to a family in Egypt and is named "Amal." The other goes to a family in Spain; they name him "Juan". Years later, Juan sends a picture of himself to his mum. Upon receiving the picture, she tells her husband that she wishes she also had a picture of Amal. Her husband responds, "But they are twins. If you've seen Juan, you've seen Amal."
I have to say that made me chuckle
 
I do so love watching my weight. İts calorific!

I think I might be watching too much porn. Whenever I flick through the channels on the telly and I see BBC, I automatically feel very small and pale.

Talking of which, I can't be doing with old guys in porn. Especially those that have a very low volume of ejaculate. You might call it agism.

Life's hard being in a wheelchair all day :( but that's what I get for being an office executive.

My mate is fucking useless. His texts always look like this "hi______mate______how________is_______İt_________ going?"
What a waste of fucking space.
 
I threw a special party last night where everybody had to get a punch from someone just below the knee. It's a great little shindig.

My pious mate annoys the hell out of me. He said "Cleanliness is next to Godliness!"
I said "Jesus swept!"

I did a 69er with the Mrs on the floor. She said "Is this hard wood?" I said "No this is tongue in groove."
 

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