Joke thread

[Dicko69]

 

[BELLENDER]

 

[jimharri]

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So good it bore repeating!

 

[yeseye]

I got the Mrs a new fridge for Xmas.
Her face lit up when she opened it!

 

[jimharri]

There's something strangely hypnotic about that; not sure what, though.

 

[JRockBlues]

My friend was telling me that he failed his exam in Aboriginal music.

I asked, "Dija redo it?"

 

[mat]

 

[ray21]

 

[bluemoon32]

Classy....

 

[Bill Walker]

Lads, wondering what to do with your turkey carcass after christmas.

Pop it into your bed and imagine you're David Beckham!!..

 

[Two Gun Bob]

 

[bluethrunthru]

363 days until Christmas and loads of folks have their lights up already.......very keen.....

 

[blue44]

is it Ok to have bread with your curry ?

Just askin for my Nan...

 

[sir baconface]

Top tip. Understand paranoid people better by following them around.

 

[sir baconface]

Microsoft have released a festive advent calendar.

No chocolates, just a load of fcukin updates every time you open your windows.

 

[bluemoon32]

Wife: Do you think these jeans make me look fat?



Me: Not answering that.



Wife: Go on - I won't be upset if you tell the truth.



Me: OK, so you promise not to get upset no matter what I say?



Wife: Promise.



Me: I fucked your sister.

 

[Blue Til Death]

Gary Neville... !

 

[sir baconface]

 

[DrBlueBob]

View attachment 7272

Oh, it doesn't seem to be working. :-(

 

[yeseye]

View attachment 7272

TWAT!
;)