Joke thread

A monologue - not strictly a joke..... I was speaking to a lad about the lack of true entertainers in the music world and i said that we could do with a new Freddie Mercury and he replied "yeah but we've got Ed Sheeran"!!
 
From the Daily Mash:

THE f**king fools who voted for Johnson are being treated exactly like the fools he took them for, it has emerged.

Cretins who cast their votes for a known and proven liar have been outraged to find that he is lying to them just like the credulous idiots they have proven to be.

Mouth-breather Wayne Hayes said: “I thought I was in on the joke. But it turns out a corrupt Etonian elitist doesn’t hold me, the man on the street in Hartlepool drinking a can of Scrumpy Jack at 11am, in high regard.

“Just because I voted against my best interests by getting him into power doesn’t mean I’m stupid. Why doesn’t he treat my warped, contrarian lizard brain with the ounce of respect it deserves?

“But then again he said this report said he didn’t do it and he’s sorry and I reckon he meant it this time.”
 
spider.jpg
 

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