Joke thread

Spoke to a cannibal recently and asked him what his favourite meal was …
He said Snake and Pygmy pie !
Saw King Kong eating some small brown things … Chocolates I asked?
No he replied small geezers !
 
There was an old man who lived by a forest. As he grew older and older, he started losing his hair, until one day, on his deathbed, he was completely bald. That day, he called his children to a meeting...



He said, "Look at my hair. It used to be so magnificent, but it's completely gone now. My hair can't be saved. But look outside at the forest. It's such a lovely forest with so many trees, but sooner or later they'll all be cut down and this forest will look as bald as my hair."



"What I want you to do..." the man continued. "Is, every time a tree is cut down or dies, plant a new one in my memory. Tell your descendants to do the same. It shall be our family's duty to keep this forest strong."



So they did.



Each time the forest lost a tree, the children replanted one, and so did their children, and their children after them.



And for centuries, the forest remained as lush and pretty as it once was, all because of one man and his re-seeding heirline.
 
John O’Neill hosted his pint in the air and shouted “Here’s to spending the rest of me life between the legs of me wife”

That won him the top prize at the pub for the Best toast of the Night.

He went home and told his wife Mary, “I won the prize for the Best toast of the Night” She said “Aye did ye now, and what was your toast ? “

John said “Here’s to spending the rest of my life, sitting in church beside my wife” Oh that is very nice indeed John, Mary said.

The next day Mary ran into one of Johns drinking buddies on a street corner. The man chuckled and said “John won the prize the other night at the pub, with a toast about you Mary” She said “Aye he told me, and I was a bit surprised myself, you know he’s only been there twice in the last four years. Once he fell asleep and the other time, I had to pull him by the ears to make him come”
 
You must log in or register to reply here.
Unread Posts

Don't have an account? Register now and see fewer ads!

SIGN UP
Back
Top