Joke thread

[Zubrman]

Do, do, do the funky walrus?

Close, but no Cheilio inermis

 

[Bigg Bigg Blue]

 

[Maintainin]

 

[Uwe Already]

Broke my can opener - it’s now a can’t opener…

 

[Columbia]

My favourite programme is songs of praise. I watch it religiously.

 

[mexico1970]

 

[Sam101]

 

[bluethrunthru]

 

[sir baconface]

View attachment 174220

I have a 12-inch pianist and I like this post.

 

[Sam101]

Absolutely gutted!

Kajagoogoo tickets just gone on sale for £60, but I've only got £58.

 

[RadcliffeRick]

I have a 12-inch pianist and I like this post.

I have a cat that will never get a round of drinks in!!

 

[noseve]

Absolutely gutted!

Kajagoogoo tickets just gone on sale for £60, but I've only got £58.

Are you Tim Vine, Vine...?

 

[Sam101]

My wife banged on the toilet door & said "Hurry up I need a shit"



"Fuck off," I shouted "I'm trying to have a wank in here"



"So that's more important than diarrhoea" she screamed.



I yelled through the door " I'm just about to come for fuck sake, just wait a few moments will you"



What an impatient, big mouthed gobshite she is.



God knows what everyone on the plane must have thought.