Joke thread

[Brisblu]

Is there any truth in this?

<a class="postlink" href="http://www.flashfunpages.com/couple.swf" onclick="window.open(this.href);return false;">http://www.flashfunpages.com/couple.swf</a>

 

[mrcunny]

A woman died of Diarrhoea today after having Anal Sex with six men in a vintage car.
Police say it was a
Pretty Shitty Gang Bang.

 

[were_not_really_here]

My ex girlfriend was fired from the army for wiping her fanny on the union jack, and leaving a great big stain... Dishonourable discharge.

 

[Citizen52]

Brendan Rodgers has challenged his Liverpool players to continue their winning form after targeting a top-two finish in the Premier League.

 

[jimharri]

I've got the official Barclays Premier League WAGS advent calendar...

John Terry's hiding naked behind every door.

 

[BimboBob]

A penguin walks into a bar and asks the bartender "Got any fish?"
The bartender says no and the penguin leaves.
Next day the penguin walks back in and asks the bartender "Got any fish?"
The irritated bartender says no, again, and the penguin leaves.
Next day the penguin walks back in and asks the bartender "Got any fish?"
The bartender, angry now, says "Look, you've come in here three times asking if I've got any fish and I've told you no. If you come back in here one more time asking me, I'm going to nail your beak to the bar. Now get out! " The penguin leaves.
Next day the penguin walks back in and asks the bartender "Got a hammer?"
The bartender says no.
The penguin asks "Got any nails?"
The bartender says no.
The penguin asks "Got any fish?"

Made me laugh. Cheers.

 

[tangaroa]

Dear Deirdre,

My boyfriend has told me the best cure for constipation is anal sex. I didn't believe him but after some persuasion,he talked me into it and I let him stick his big fat cock into my tiny little arsehole. He shagged me up the bum really hard then after a while, shot his muck,deep into my bowels. He's just rung me this morning saying he wants to try it again as he's still constipated. What should I do ?

 

[JULES]

Dear Deirdre,

My boyfriend has told me the best cure for constipation is anal sex. I didn't believe him but after some persuasion,he talked me into it and I let him stick his big fat cock into my tiny little arsehole. He shagged me up the bum really hard then after a while, shot his muck,deep into my bowels. He's just rung me this morning saying he wants to try it again as he's still constipated. What should I do ?

epic!!!

 

[oakiecokie]

I've got the official Barclays Premier League WAGS advent calendar...

John Terry's hiding naked behind every door.

We should change it to Kolo,hiding behind that fooking shower curtain !!

 

[Clevers]

Brendan Rodgers has challenged his Liverpool players to continue their winning form after targeting a top-two finish in the Premier League.

When I read that in the papers I thought yes, Liverpool is continuing its great tradition and still producing comedians.