Lighten up, it's The City joke thread..........:-))

[Blue Tooth]

Two Blues were at a football match and it was just seconds away from kick-off.

"Man," said the first fella, "I'm bursting for a pee, and the toilets are miles away"

"Don't worry," said the second bloke. "You see that Lad in front of you? Just pee up his leg."

"Are you crazy?" said the first fella, "that Lad's massive."

"Oh," said the second bloke, "he won't notice anything."

"How do you know?" said the first fella.

"Because I've just peed up yours!" said the second bloke.

 

[Lord Blue]

Nine years of mediocrity have taught me not to get too bothered by defeats, we're not rags and we will still be here when it all goes wrong. I wish this thread got a bit more traffic than all those cringeworthy Hughes - in threads, dont know any jokes though!

Nine?

 

[goose72]

Nine years of mediocrity have taught me not to get too bothered by defeats, we're not rags and we will still be here when it all goes wrong. I wish this thread got a bit more traffic than all those cringeworthy Hughes - in threads, dont know any jokes though!

Nine?

Shit - can I live in his world too?

 

[TFC]

sex has gone downhill, so i bought the wife a dildo. She said it looks like a giant carrot.... which is ironic as her fanny looks like a donkey yawning.

Actually made me laugh out loud, brilliant!

 

[ColinBellsjockstrap]

A Man City and Man United fan collide in a huge accident on the motorway. Both cars are a wreck, but both men are unhurt.

“This must be a sign from God that we are meant to be friends” says the City fan “I agree” replies the United fan

The City fan then returns to the wreckage of his car, and finds a bottle of whiskey he had been saving.

“Look” he says to the united fan, “this must be another sign from God, we should drink this whiskey to celebrate our friendship and survival”

He hands the bottle over to the United fan who takes a large gulp from the bottle before passing it back to the City fan, who then puts the top back on & returns the bottle to his car.

“Aren’t you having any?” asks the United fan. “No” replied the City fan, “I think I’ll wait til the Police get here.”

 

[salfordpaul]

Guys, we'd better get used to mediocrity. We have wasted a majority of the transfer money on players with no heart. Stoke on Wednesday night, showed us how a squad made on a fifth of the money we have, show dedication, commitment, bottle and endeavour. Something we are sadly missing. We DESERVED to lose, not for lack of skill or chances, but because stoke showed more fight than we did

you fuckwit! Clarkie????

 

[Mr Partridge]

Kolo Toure had a really good game, I don't know when it was though...

 

[Mr Partridge]

Kolo Toure can be a really top defender on his day - unfortunately that day is 29th February...

 

[sears1234]

A new tape has been released by osama bin ladin this week... he covers the usual death to the west and amongst other topics says how he watched manchester city play this week saying they played shit......... police have dismissed this tape as being new stating that it could have been recorded any week.

CTID

haha haha

 

[Why Always Ste]

It was my birthday on Saturday and just before I set off to watch the Man City - Chelsea game my girlfriend turns up with a card and present. As I started to open the gift she excitedly exclaimed that I should wear it during the game. To my surprise I held up a Glazer Out scarf.

"You do know that I'm a city fan?" I ask.
"Yeah I know which is why I bought you a Norwich City scarf"