Make your own United debacle headline story

[havefaith]

In view of recent events, we are pleased to announce our new employee welfare initiative. Welcome to our new employee welfare team.

 

[Nu77a11 B1ue]

United are pleased to announce Pot Noodle as their UK Noodle Partner

 

[Nebuchadnezzar]

Get your Mick Hucknall Jigsaw today

 

[KS55]

Fun fact: the Glzireses want £10bn for an asset capitalised at £3bn plus change on NYSE.

 

[Protein Junkie]

Manchester United set up Debt Management Advice Strategic Partnership with Birmingham City Council.

 

[Ilovehappyendings]

New at home kit....

 

[Always Ali]

Self Proclaimed Biggest Club In The World Actually Massive Turd

 

[horlock_was_super]

gpc: My bucket of horse spunk was still worth it.

 

[lazerblue]

Avram Glazer is revealed to be Peter Swales illegitimate child

good old uncle peter did have a plan after all

 

[BlueBas]

Rachel Reilly silent on Antony abuse allegations. It's only shit players she doesn't want at "her" club.

 

[Blue Mist]

Glazers stop sale of club so that they are not lumped with ugly owners.

 

[Trevor Morley's Tache]

"Andy Tate takes over from Ellie Norman as Chief Communications Officer. The club would like to thank her for her services. It's all part of the master plan".

 

[Fiftyyearsandcounting]

"Andy Tate takes over from Ellie Norman as Chief Communications Officer. The club would like to thank her for her services. It's all part of the master plan".

That's a slap in the face for Ellie...or soon will be.

 

[TonyM]

 

[Crouchinho]

Manchester United are considering a stunning u-turn by bringing shamed former player Mason Greenwood back into the fold. Private investigators were able to determine Greenwood wasn't a rapist but simply slept with ten hags.

 

[Kinkybyname]

 

[RobinHood]

Why Akanji not being offside is good for Utd
(By Neil Ashton).

 

[Gazza]

"Old hamburger meat found under van de Beek's match day boots, thought to date back to Louis Edward's era as it was wrapped in a parcel addressed to a local catholic school"

 

[Bigga]

Red's Amazing New Initiative is Successful!

CitC [Cunts in the Community] keeps antisocial crowd off streets every other Saturday.

Rivals Man City applaud and support the effort wishing them continued success.

 

[Metal Biker]

"Thousands of Man Utd fans diagnosed with cholera and dysentery after drinking Old Trafford tap water.

Reports suggest fans turned to drinking from bathroom faucets after refusing to buy concessions from United's food and beverage stands in a bid to 'not give them Glazers any more money"