I couldn't find this thread yesterday for some reason. Anyway, had the dreaded colonoscopy on Monday at Macclesfield hospital and what a well run,clean and tidy hospital it is(or at least it was in my case) Started at 7pm on Sunday drinking the plenvu solution.. OMFG! The worst fucking thing you will ever EVER drink! Sea salt meets thick gloopy saccharine induced cheap cordial. Totally horrendous! Then again on Monday at 6am.. the 2nd dose(punch flavour) was even worse than the mango offering on Sunday. So whilst every bugger was out drinking watching the match, I was on the bog! Great timing hey. Missed all the goals :( But so be it. The procedure itself wasn't too bad, just the first few minutes when it's going around your U bend thing. Just had that horrible feeling I was gonna shit on the poor bastards at any time. So the procedure finished and the doc said everything was perfect which was nice. So off I went to the recovery room to have a brew.. but by this time I was having horrendous stomach cramps. I'd opted for no anesthetic,just gas n air. Then nurse left me to put my clothes on and this pain seemed to go into over drive.. I'm stood there doubled up with my knob out in fucking agony.. Next salute I felt I needed to go, but I had no pants on, but I thought fuck it, I need to go. So I pulled the screen across and streaked to the bog(which was conveniently about 10 metres away) bollock naked! It was the ladies bog but I didnt give a shit(pardon the pun)I got on the bog and did the biggest, longest and loudest fart ever! It was like when Vivian was pregnant on the young ones. I have never felt more relief in my life. I sat on the bog for about 10 minutes and it was like a scene from Blazing saddles. Eventually I finished and most of the trapped air had gone and my stomach ache had 80% disappeared. But I had a problem.. I was bolloko. I had to put my head round the door and beckon a lovely,yet flustered Indian nurse over to retrieve my clothes from my bed. When I got out they were pissing themselves at me. But joking aside, they were brilliant. So in the last month or so I've had the checks for prostate then bowels and fortunately all good. My heart goes out to you guys struggling but what I do recommend is getting checked out on both, especially if you're a certain age and or lifestyle, it could save your life.