really REALLY **** jokes that still make you laugh

[jimharri]

While proudly showing off his new apartment to friends late one night, the drunk led the way to his bedroom where there was a big brass gong.
"What's that big brass gong for?" one of the guests asked. "Why, that's the talking clock" the man replied. "How does it work?" "Watch", the man said, giving it an ear-shattering pound with a hammer.
Suddenly, someone on the other side of the wall screamed, "For fuck sake, you wanker, it's 2am in the fucking morning!!"

 

[Mikem93]

You hear about the dyslexic rock star

Choked to death on his own Vimto

*grabs coat*

 

[lostmyhouseski]

similiar to wrongun's..

a bra and a spark plug walk into a bar
barmen wont serve them
they ask why not?
'cause your off your tits and your mates gonna start something'

 

[JoeMercer'sWay]

There were 2 cats playing by the river, one was one, two, three the other un, deux, trois. They both fell in. Which one swam to the shore and survived?

A) one, two, three survived because un, deux, trois quatre cinq.
Pronounced: cat sank if you don't get it.

 

[paul123]

whats green and smells like pork?


kermit the frogs fingers

 

[keemcfc]

Re: really REALLY shit jokes that still make you laugh

A seal walks into a club.

If its that harsh it has to be at least a little funny, alls that did was make children cry...

 

[smudgedj]

What do you call a bear without a dad?





Rupert the Bastard.

 

[Scottyboi]

What do you get if a blonde does a handstand?


A brunette with smelly breath!

Im here all week people.

 

[smudgedj]

What's white and if it falls out of a tree it can kill you?





A fridge.

 

[fbloke]

Why did the pervert cross the road?





'Cos he couldn't get his knob out the the chicken.









with thanks to Rik Mayall Circa 1982.