a man walks into a bar with half an orange for his head, the barman asks him how he got it and the man begins to tell him:
'i was sat in park one day and a geenie came up to me and told me i could have three wishes'
so the barman asks him what he wished for and he replied:
'my first wish was that no matter how much money i took out of my wallet, it was always full' so the man shows the barman by throwing tons of money out of his wallet for 10 minutes, so then the barman asks him for his second wish and he tells him:
'no matter how ugly i am all women will find me attractive' so the man showed him,
the barman now asked him for his final wish and he said:
'i wished half my head was an orange'
a man walks into a bar with his son who is only a head, the father stands up and says to the rest of the pub, 'my son's 18 today and this is his first pint ever' everbody claps and whatever else you'd do, so his son drinks his first pint and he grows a body and the father says 'my god man! get him another one!' so he drinks another and he gets an arm and so on eventually he gets a whole body, he gets so excited that he runs out in to the road screaming and shouting but then a bus runs him over and kills him and the barman says 'he should of quit while he was a-head'
these have probably already been put on here but i haven't read them all