really REALLY **** jokes that still make you laugh

The blonde got rather excitable and started singing and dancing when she finished the jigsaw puzzle in just four weeks.




After all, it said 3 years and upwards on the box!!! :)
 
a man walks into a bar with half an orange for his head, the barman asks him how he got it and the man begins to tell him:

'i was sat in park one day and a geenie came up to me and told me i could have three wishes'
so the barman asks him what he wished for and he replied:
'my first wish was that no matter how much money i took out of my wallet, it was always full' so the man shows the barman by throwing tons of money out of his wallet for 10 minutes, so then the barman asks him for his second wish and he tells him:
'no matter how ugly i am all women will find me attractive' so the man showed him,
the barman now asked him for his final wish and he said:
'i wished half my head was an orange'




a man walks into a bar with his son who is only a head, the father stands up and says to the rest of the pub, 'my son's 18 today and this is his first pint ever' everbody claps and whatever else you'd do, so his son drinks his first pint and he grows a body and the father says 'my god man! get him another one!' so he drinks another and he gets an arm and so on eventually he gets a whole body, he gets so excited that he runs out in to the road screaming and shouting but then a bus runs him over and kills him and the barman says 'he should of quit while he was a-head'

these have probably already been put on here but i haven't read them all
 
A man arrives home and his blonde wife is painting the kitchen wearing an anorak and a parka.

He says "Are you not too hot in all that gear?"

She says "Yeah I'm boiling but it says on the tin for best results put on 2 coats!"
 
Teacher asks the class to define "contageous"

Billy put's his hand up and says "misss is it something to do with decorating?"

" no billy", she replies " what makes you think that"

"It's just that I heard my Dad saying he saw our next door neighbour painting his living room with a really small paintbrush, and that it would take that contageous"
 
bloke died and was sent to pearly gates
before we let you in ,you have to decide how your stay forever will be
he was shown the first room,and a bloke was having his arse rammed by a big brute of a guy.Do you want this,"oh no" the bloke replied.
he was shown the second room,inside a bloke is having his back whipped by a evil looking woman,do you want this "oh no "the bloke replied.
he was shown the third and final room,and there lying on a bed ,was a guy having his cock sucked by this gorgeous blonde.do you want this " OH YES THAT WILL DO"...The woman got up and said "thank fck for that.
 
whats the difference between jo brands fanny and a cricket ball-given enough time you could eat a cricket ball
 

Don't have an account? Register now and see fewer ads!

SIGN UP
Back
Top
  AdBlock Detected
Bluemoon relies on advertising to pay our hosting fees. Please support the site by disabling your ad blocking software to help keep the forum sustainable. Thanks.