* Top Tips! *

[blueinbolton77]

If a great white shark bites your leg off on holiday in Australia, make sure you remember to stop using your good leg. Otherwise you'll keep swimming in circles and the shark will catch you.

 

[S.W.P]

Don't put all your eggs in one basket, put all of then in the fridge they will last longer

 

[DGMcreative]

Having trouble with the metric system? are you one of those people who gets your feet and inches mixed up?
if so try out this new revolutionary universal measuring technique

THE CAR SPONGE

Ive just bought a new fridge and the bloke in Comet asked how big is the space your putting it in? straight away no tape measure needed my answer was ...... 7 sponges by 3

Also my mates just bought a new Sony flat screen TV You wanna see the size of it...... 4 sponges by 8

Worked a treat, Im telling you this is the future !!!

 

[Llewellyn Dowd]

Buy onions instead of apples, they're much cheaper.

 

[i8therags]

Having trouble with the metric system? are you one of those people who gets your feet and inches mixed up?
if so try out this new revolutionary universal measuring technique

THE CAR SPONGE

Ive just bought a new fridge and the bloke in Comet asked how big is the space your putting it in? straight away no tape measure needed my answer was ...... 7 sponges by 3

Also my mates just bought a new Sony flat screen TV You wanna see the size of it...... 4 sponges by 8

Worked a treat, Im telling you this is the future !!!

there is a problem with this but i can;t put my finger on it,,,,,,,,,















oh yes,what if our sponges are different colours. :-)

 

[bananamilksheikh]

Put tea bags in your hot water cylinder so you can have a brew by simply turning on the hot tap.

 

[Franny Lee's Barrel Chest]

Put tea bags in your hot water cylinder so you can have a brew by simply turning on the hot tap.

Thanks a whole heap you idiot. I spent hours looking for my cylinder, only to be told that actually, we had a combi boiler...

 

[buzzer1]

Having trouble with the metric system? are you one of those people who gets your feet and inches mixed up?
if so try out this new revolutionary universal measuring technique

THE CAR SPONGE

Ive just bought a new fridge and the bloke in Comet asked how big is the space your putting it in? straight away no tape measure needed my answer was ...... 7 sponges by 3

Also my mates just bought a new Sony flat screen TV You wanna see the size of it...... 4 sponges by 8

Worked a treat, Im telling you this is the future !!!

Wet or Dry??

 

[droylsdenblue]

BANGING two pistachio nut shells together gives the impression a very small horse is approaching.

 

[nelsons willie]

BANGING two pistachio nut shells together gives the impression a very small horse is approaching.

on the same thread,banging 2 coconuts gives the impression of 2 shire horses appoaching..if you can get a few mates doing the same thing it sounds like genghis khan and his mates galloping across the steppes..