beano46
Well-Known Member
Paddy goes for a job as a Blacksmith, The Blacksmith says to Paddy "have you ever shoed a Horse, Paddy says " No but I once told a donkey to fuck off
Love that one me
Love that one me
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Whats your best Joke!?!?
- Thread starter Lmg1002
- Start date
source?calmcfc said:Whats yellow and smells like piss?
Piss!!!
supercity36
Well-Known Member
paddy and mick hear their friend seamus has died so they go to the maug to confirm it is him. paddy turns him over looks at his arse and says "its not him" then mick turns loks at his butt and goes "its not him" the maug worker says "how do you know its ot him by looking at his butt?" paddy turns to him and says "because when we are on a night out everyone used to say "here comes seamus with the two arseholes""
wheres my coat...
wheres my coat...
Alan Kernaghan's 40yd Lob
Well-Known Member
supercity36 said:paddy and mick hear their friend seamus has died so they go to the maug to confirm it is him. paddy turns him over looks at his arse and says "its not him" then mick turns loks at his butt and goes "its not him" the maug worker says "how do you know its ot him by looking at his butt?" paddy turns to him and says "because when we are on a night out everyone used to say "here comes seamus with the two arseholes""
wheres my coat...
where's your dictionary?
;)
pee dubyas crayons
Well-Known Member
- Joined
- 25 Apr 2009
- Messages
- 856
What's black and screams?
Stevie Wonder answering the iron.
Stevie Wonder answering the iron.
Le Havre Oswald
Well-Known Member
pee dubyas crayons
Well-Known Member
- Joined
- 25 Apr 2009
- Messages
- 856
Whats red orange yellow green blue purple maroon and violet?
A black woman on her way to church.
A black woman on her way to church.
Le Havre Oswald
Well-Known Member
paddy's down a dark hole
mick : is it dark down there
paddy: dont know cant see.
..........................................................
max: paddy spell colour
paddy: which one.
.............................................................
Paddy and Mick were working on a building site, Paddy says to Mick "I cant be bothered working all day I just want to go home" so he climbs to the top of the building site and hangs upside down on a steel girder, on seeing this the boss shouts up "what the hell do you think your doing" Paddy says "pretending to be a light bulb" so the boss says "go home your being stupid" so he climbs down and starts walking out. Mick decides to follow and says "Im going home too" but just as he was putting his coat on to leave, the boss shouts "and where do you think your going" Mick says home because Im not working in the dark"
..............................................................
Paddy died in a fire and was burnt pretty badly and the morgue needed someone to identify the body. So his two best friends, Mick and Seamus were called upon.
Seamus went in and the mortician pulled back the sheet. Seamus said 'Yup, he's burnt pretty bad. Roll him over’. Following orders the mortician rolled Paddy over and Seamus looked and said 'Nope, it ain't Paddy.'
The mortician thought it all rather strange and then called upon Mick to identify the body. Mick took one look at him and said, 'Yup, he's burnt real bad, roll him over'.
The mortician rolled him over and Mick looked down and said, 'No, it ain't Paddy'.
A baffled mortician asked, 'How can you tell?' Mick said, 'Well, Paddy had two assholes.'
‘what, he had two assholes?' said the mortician.
'Yup, everyone knew he had two assholes. Every time we went into town, people would say, 'Here comes Paddy with them two assholes.'
mick : is it dark down there
paddy: dont know cant see.
..........................................................
max: paddy spell colour
paddy: which one.
.............................................................
Paddy and Mick were working on a building site, Paddy says to Mick "I cant be bothered working all day I just want to go home" so he climbs to the top of the building site and hangs upside down on a steel girder, on seeing this the boss shouts up "what the hell do you think your doing" Paddy says "pretending to be a light bulb" so the boss says "go home your being stupid" so he climbs down and starts walking out. Mick decides to follow and says "Im going home too" but just as he was putting his coat on to leave, the boss shouts "and where do you think your going" Mick says home because Im not working in the dark"
..............................................................
Paddy died in a fire and was burnt pretty badly and the morgue needed someone to identify the body. So his two best friends, Mick and Seamus were called upon.
Seamus went in and the mortician pulled back the sheet. Seamus said 'Yup, he's burnt pretty bad. Roll him over’. Following orders the mortician rolled Paddy over and Seamus looked and said 'Nope, it ain't Paddy.'
The mortician thought it all rather strange and then called upon Mick to identify the body. Mick took one look at him and said, 'Yup, he's burnt real bad, roll him over'.
The mortician rolled him over and Mick looked down and said, 'No, it ain't Paddy'.
A baffled mortician asked, 'How can you tell?' Mick said, 'Well, Paddy had two assholes.'
‘what, he had two assholes?' said the mortician.
'Yup, everyone knew he had two assholes. Every time we went into town, people would say, 'Here comes Paddy with them two assholes.'
droylsdenblue
Well-Known Member
a dyslexic went to a toga party...
dressed as a goat!
dressed as a goat!