Whats your best Joke!?!?

After a gruelling Grand Prix, Renault boss Flavio Briatore is sitting on his yacht drinking champagne when he sees a documentary about a group of Liverpool youngsters who can remove a set opf wheels without the proper tools inside 6 seconds. Flavios is amazed and fires the entire pit crew immediatley who take 8 seconds and require high tech equipment to do the job and fills the vacancies with the Liverpool youngsters.

At the first practice, they change the tyres in 6 seconds flat and let the driver drive away. Confident the team will winthe title that season, Briatore walks off. Shorlty, his mobile rings. It's his boss. Briatore brags: 'Did you see that new pit crew? No-on will be able to beat us this year.'

The boss then screams down the phone:

'You twat! Within 12 seconds, they had also resprayed and rebadged the car and then sold it to the Red Bull team for 8 lagers and some photos of Coulthard's bird in the shower'.
 
i was walking to work this morning,i passed an rac van and the guy was sobbing uncontrollablyand looked miserable as hell-i thought to my self that mans heading for a breakdown!
the wife said to me last night"why dont we make love like they do in the films?"so i bent her over the table and f****d her up the a**e andcame all over her face,turns out we dont watch the same films....
 
No offence to any Irish including the wife is she reads this

Mick & Paddy are reading head stones at a nearby cemetery. Mick say 'Crikey! Theres a bloke here who was 152!'
Paddy says 'Whats his name?'
Mick replies 'Miles from London !'

An Irishman is rowing his boat in a field of hay. Paddy drives past & stops. He looks at the Irishman in the boat & shouts 'Its thick twats like you that give us Irish a bad name! I'd come over there & kick the f**k out of you if I could swim!'
 
English, scottish and irish bloke on a building site at lunch
English bloke pulls out his Beef and Onion Sandwich and says 'for fuck sake if she makes me this again tomorrow im gonna throw myself off this building'
Scottish bloke pulls out his Ham and Cheese Sandwich and says 'for fuck sake if she makes me this again tomorrow im gonna throw myself off this building too'
Irish Bloke pulls out his Steak Sandwich and says 'for fuck sake if she makes me this again tomorrow im gonna throw myself off this building as well!'
The next day englishman pulls out the same butty says 'fuck it' goes and jumps off the building to his death
scottishman pulls out the same butty says 'fuck it' goes and jumps off the building to his death too
finally the irishman pulls out the same butty says 'fuck it' goes and jumps off the building to his death too

At the funeral upon learning of the cause of deaths of their husbands the englishmans wife and scottishmans wife burst out crying 'if only he told me i would have made something different for him....'

Puzzled, the irishwoman says 'he made his own sandwiches.....'
 
neely8 said:
What's the last thing Rod Hull said to Emu?

"Quick, grab that fucking guttering"
Click to expand...

He died trying to adjust his TV aerial.

I went to the funeral, it was crap but the reception was fookin brilliant .....
 
Whats the difference between a woman on her period and a terrorist?

You can negotiate with a terrorist
 
r01z said:
English, scottish and irish bloke on a building site at lunch
English bloke pulls out his Beef and Onion Sandwich and says 'for fuck sake if she makes me this again tomorrow im gonna throw myself off this building'
Scottish bloke pulls out his Ham and Cheese Sandwich and says 'for fuck sake if she makes me this again tomorrow im gonna throw myself off this building too'
Irish Bloke pulls out his Steak Sandwich and says 'for fuck sake if she makes me this again tomorrow im gonna throw myself off this building as well!'
The next day englishman pulls out the same butty says 'fuck it' goes and jumps off the building to his death
scottishman pulls out the same butty says 'fuck it' goes and jumps off the building to his death too
finally the irishman pulls out the same butty says 'fuck it' goes and jumps off the building to his death too

At the funeral upon learning of the cause of deaths of their husbands the englishmans wife and scottishmans wife burst out crying 'if only he told me i would have made something different for him....'

PMSL!!!! HAHAHAHAHA
Puzzled, the irishwoman says 'he made his own sandwiches.....'
Click to expand...
 
You must log in or register to reply here.
Unread Posts

Don't have an account? Register now and see fewer ads!

SIGN UP
Back
Top
✖
  AdBlock Detected
Bluemoon relies on advertising to pay our hosting fees. Please support the site by disabling your ad blocking software to help keep the forum sustainable. Thanks.