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Tom_mcfc said:
it is funny! i'd draw the line at laughing as well as doing both tho... who says men cant multitask?
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When was the last time you soiled yourself?
- Thread starter bluemonday
- Start date
it is funny! i'd draw the line at laughing as well as doing both tho... who says men cant multitask?
danny21manc
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Fuck i thought this thread got removed again
BUMP!!!!!
BUMP!!!!!
A bad one that sticks out from my Student days was when I didn't even feel it coming which was even worse than expecting it! I got up one afternoon after a heavy night and stretched as I got out of bed and out slipped a little fart which I thoguht felt a bit warm. I did the acid test of putting my hand in there to test it out and low and behold I had mucky fingers. The worse part was they were my favourite boxers so I thought sod chucking them I'll put them in a bag and take them home to be washed cause I was going home later that day. I threw them in the washer but my mum always pulls stuff out before putting the wash on. Yes you guessed it, she got a handful of the shitty undies!
danny21manc
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simonr555 said:A bad one that sticks out from my Student days was when I didn't even feel it coming which was even worse than expecting it! I got up one afternoon after a heavy night and stretched as I got out of bed and out slipped a little fart which I thoguht felt a bit warm. I did the acid test of putting my hand in there to test it out and low and behold I had mucky fingers. The worse part was they were my favourite boxers so I thought sod chucking them I'll put them in a bag and take them home to be washed cause I was going home later that day. I threw them in the washer but my mum always pulls stuff out before putting the wash on. Yes you guessed it, she got a handful of the shitty undies!
the acid test hahahahaha class
goat boy
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poh said:In the 70's i was invited along with a few mates to a party in Belfast where the parents of the guy throwing it had gone away for the week (so you know what that means ! ) a few hours before the party i had something from the local chippy,thinking it will be all booze for the next 24 hours so get some food into you first.Well whatever i had (i just cant remember now ) started to fuck my guts up big time about an hour before said party,but fuck it i thought a few drinks will settle that down and off i went.So there i'am at the party feeling just great and getting nicely hammered when that feeling starts,and you just know your in big fucking trouble if you do not make it the bathroom in the next 3.4 seconds ! the thing was i did make it ! but just as i burst through the door i saw that a friend of mine who had got himself in goodstyle with a girl there was on the toilet with her on top of him,fuck it i thought i will use the bath, i turned around quickly and had my begs down along with the undercrackers and in mid-squat when my mate on the toilet yelled no ! no fuck i thought, as i let loose the bowels from hell,it was a split second later when i saw something in the corner of my eye in the bath and it was not my shit! now dont get me wrong i was not in the least put out by my friend and his girl sitting on the toilet watching me shit (i mean after all it was an emergency ) but to my ever lasting shame another of my friends had been having a lie down in the bath because of to much drink taken,and it was this that my mate on the bog had tried to warn me about,but after he had shouted no,he could speak no more because he was laughing so hard he nearly shit himself ! as for the girl,she hid her head at the shame of it on his chest,as for my mate in the bath,well fuck me if he did not sleep right through the whole thing ! I did have to make it up to him the next day (i bought him new shirt and jeans ) i suppose the moral of the story is look before you shit,no matter how desparate you are.
You've never shit yourself until you've done it over a mate sleeping in a bath. Legendary. FMTWF.
allan harper
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LMFAO this is quality...
smevchenko
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I was on holiday in Tenerife with a goup of mates in the summer of 2005, and on the first day my mate decided it would be funny to drop his shorts and unleash what i can only describe as a harrowing fart right in my face. I saw the whole event unfold no more than 2 inches from my face! I saw every movement that his sphincter made, which was followed by a gust of putrid smelling wind! I vowed to gain my revenge!
A couple of days later, after a rather dodgy all you can eat chinese, my arse was dishing out the kind of farts that only yourself can enjoy. My friend was sat on the balcony, and i thought this was the perfect opportunity to settle the score!
I ran over and dropped my kecks, positioning my arse square in his face, in the excitement i pushed just a little too hard, and proceded to force a rather sizeable quantity of liquid poo straight out my crack and right into my mates somewhat surprised face! I ran straight to the toilet, but not before realising he had been talking to a couple of the very nice ladies that were staying in the room next to ours! suffice to say, i didnt see any action off them that holiday!
I suppose my mate must have forgiven me over time...we sit next to each other in block 308 now!
A couple of days later, after a rather dodgy all you can eat chinese, my arse was dishing out the kind of farts that only yourself can enjoy. My friend was sat on the balcony, and i thought this was the perfect opportunity to settle the score!
I ran over and dropped my kecks, positioning my arse square in his face, in the excitement i pushed just a little too hard, and proceded to force a rather sizeable quantity of liquid poo straight out my crack and right into my mates somewhat surprised face! I ran straight to the toilet, but not before realising he had been talking to a couple of the very nice ladies that were staying in the room next to ours! suffice to say, i didnt see any action off them that holiday!
I suppose my mate must have forgiven me over time...we sit next to each other in block 308 now!
Swales lives
Well-Known Member
smevchenko said:I suppose my mate must have forgiven me over time...we sit next to each other in block 308 now!
Aaah I love a story with a happy ending.
BlueinCumbria
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haven't read the full thread so sorry if someone has posted something similar!
Anyway - mine was about 10 years ago aged 19. I had been out on the sesh and my girlfriend at the time was at my house. Anyway, long story short - i had no underwear on and a pair of adidas trackies on. I sat on the bed and was trying to hold a fart in (as you do when you start dating) and i felt a hot trickle out of my arsehole. I said to the lass that she would have to go as i was tired - she did and was pissed off big time. When i heard her car go i stood up to see a perfect leaf shape on the duvet and an overwhelming stench of arse lip juice.
Anyway - mine was about 10 years ago aged 19. I had been out on the sesh and my girlfriend at the time was at my house. Anyway, long story short - i had no underwear on and a pair of adidas trackies on. I sat on the bed and was trying to hold a fart in (as you do when you start dating) and i felt a hot trickle out of my arsehole. I said to the lass that she would have to go as i was tired - she did and was pissed off big time. When i heard her car go i stood up to see a perfect leaf shape on the duvet and an overwhelming stench of arse lip juice.