**** your dad said

[MCFCTrick]

If its got wheels or tits it will give you grief and cost you dearly .

That literally had me laughing out loud....cracking, and sadly true...

 

[paul.manc]

nothing never had anything to do with the c*nt

 

[BimboBob]

Yes, and also a very hairy chest.

Am I your Auntie?

You can be if you want to be.

Excellent. I'll be round for a delve into your trouser pocket at the weekend.

 

[Anglesey-Blue]

Whenever he'd see a really old photo, like on a pub wall, he'd say 'they're all dead now'.
I now say the same thing.

 

[peoffrey]

"It's just a few tests. Nothing to worry about." He had Bowel Cancer.

 

[burning blue soul]

"im just running a few errands" translated to "im off getting pissed"

 

[Prestwich_Blue]

"She looks like my mother's bucket with a frill round it" about a munter or over-dressed woman.

 

[BackofJeanette]

When I was in the front room with current girlfriend he'd knock on the door and shout,

"Have you got a woman in there"?

Me:" No"!

Dad: "well open the door and I'll throw you one in"!

Or more embarrassing,

"Open this door and let a real man in"!

When in the bedroom,

"I know you're living on the fruits of love, but stop throwing the skins out the window, they're choking the dog!

 

[bluemc1]

loads of weird shit that didnt make sense, if i started trying to get the better of him play fighting hed say, 'you will never be big enough and when your big enough you will be to old.' Blood and sand if he was pissed of, and if something surprised him " well blow me down with a rolled up copy of exchange and mart " wtf ?
and his mate who was a horse racing journalist he told me he was always at the races cos his job was walking behind the horses picking up there shit in the parade ring, he kept it up for years, dont know how he kept straight race as im watching horses go round every week saying " john not working today then ?"

 

[ColinBellsjockstrap]

"If your brains were made of dynamite, you wouldn't have enough to blow your hat off"


"Don't be flash if you ain't got the cash"


"Who is this Ted Zeppelin anyway?"