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5-0 City Haaland hatrick from only 4 touches of the ball, the kick off plus his 3 goals Neighbours alert police to the sound of screams and breaking glass at the Keane residence

Casemiro !!!

Showed a good turn of pace for his goal like Paul had

If after an hour we lead Fulham by 3 goals I’d prefer us not to charge around on a hot sunny afternoon in search of more goals. Get any five of Rodri, KDB, Bernie, Kyle, Phil, Stonesy and Erling off and rest up for the de facto title decider on Tuesday night

Arsenal have announced plans to hold an open top bus parade around Islington on May 20th should they win the league. Odd that they’re having another one as I’m sure I remember them parading the trophy when they clinched the title by beating us in October

I wonder what we could get him for now … £60m maybe ? Him and big Erl could play in the same team no problem Just imagine the unprecedented media meltdown if we paired the two best strikers in Europe in the same team

Stats like that fill me with fear

I never tire of watching this

I didn’t exactly cheer the rags on in their two games against the dippers but I have to admit to feeling “pleased” when they scored. To do so once is bad, to do so twice is awful but if I find myself feeling pleased again if they score on Sunday I think I might need some kind of exorcism before...

Can’t totally discount the possibility of the rags getting something on Sunday but the dippers play a chaotic unstructured game that leaves them more vulnerable to freak results than Arsenal. And it would have to be a hell of a freak result for that shower to even get a point on Sunday

Pm sent grumpy

Thanks to a last minute Ederson penalty

Because he’s atop the PL scorers list despite missing 2 months with injury Youre right about Rodri though, he’s head and shoulders the most influential player in the league

Since about November we’ve heard the usual nonsense about “must win games” We’ve had several league games over the last decade that genuinely were must win games, the first of which was of course absolutely fucking mental. Arsenal haven’t had one for twenty years. It’s a whole different kind...

No Jadon Sancho, no credibility

Tainted schmainted The record books are the only reference point that matters, all the rest is tittle tattle. Ten, twenty, fifty, a hundred years from now people will look at the list of our achievements and be in no doubt that we’re the best team ever to play football on these shores

The very kind blue on here who provided me with a spare ticket for the Wolves game left a couple of minutes early with his wife and lad. I screamed “you horrible cunts” at them but I’m not sure he heard me. Next time I’ll throw my pie at him.

I thought he came across quite well tbf. A couple of nice digs at the dippers too.

Can the 1894 group organise a sort of special forces pitch invasion assault group to invade the PA control system room and stop them blaring out cheesy generic pop victory tunes most of which have no connection with City at all

I’ve done my share of pitch invasions and I’m happy to leave that to the youngsters now. That said, it’s actually a lot more fun watching the pitch invasion than the interminable, tedious presentation ceremony that follows. Starts with a load of Sky / PL flunkies taking ages to construct a load...