The "let's talk" thread

Have a look at a few options. I think many offer gym classes as part of the monthly fee which works out (see what I did there?) being great value. I was put off for years by people saying they never kept it up so were paying for nothing. But if you do it's amazing value in the scheme of things (especially if you cut down on booze and food). I try and fit in as many classes as I can...socially they're ace, but then tend to push you a little more too. Circuits, syngrgy etc. Maybe get a free PT consolutation that many gyms offer...tell them what you want to achieve (and you may not know initially) and they'll sort a plan for you. Running is good but perhaps not the best option for some if they're carrying too much weight (which will end up causing injuries). I fell in love with the rower and Kettle Bell....
Walking is ace, but I remember at my lowest if just left me with my thoughts bubbling up. I recall, in the midst of my breakdown, going for a 5k run on a wet, cold, dark January evening...and tried to outrun the mental anguish and ended up doing my first half marathon. I think the physical pain finally had one over the internal stuff going on...not that I'm a believer in angels but on the way back on this run, this stunning girl waiting for a bus (on this cold night) gave me this huge, warm grin seemingly out of nowhere. A nod perhaps that things get better.

Classes are a good shout, not something I've done before but gives a bit of variety and like you say its social as well. Going to call in tomorrow so I'll have a look and see what they've got on.
 
Classes are a good shout, not something I've done before but gives a bit of variety and like you say its social as well. Going to call in tomorrow so I'll have a look and see what they've got on.

Do and ask about what they offer.
There's a bloke across the street from me I've known fairly well for a few years - ex mountain resuce and was studying to be a paramedic when he broke his back. He now runs a gas engineer/plumber/high end bathroom installs etc. It was only until recently I found out he wasn't mentally well...wife and kids (but I think their relationship is all but dead...I tink she constantly has a go at him and they never go away/do anything together). Was surprised as he's a big strong bloke, always seems on his game. We've bonded over the gym and I've dragged hm along to classes which he now loves. Hence why it's good to talk and open up as you can never really second guess what people are going through.

Good luck and report back mate.
 
@karen7 & @somapop plus those who've mentioned about talking to someone on the street, in the shop etc., it does help others who might not have spoken to someone for a couple of days.

Just to make you smile though....... when I was in the waiting room at the hospital/drop in centre place on Friday a lady was walking toward me & I gave a little grin/smile and this lady said, Do I know you, and I thought ohhhh I’ve offended her and I started to say no I’m sorry and to explain but she walked up to me and went, oh I’ve not got my glasses on and I thought you were one of my neighbours!
Then today in M & S in the Trafford Centre, I was walking through the nightwear section and this guy was with his wife & gave the biggest yawn EVER & without thinking I said, well you’ve picked the best place for yawning and wanting to sleep. Then I thought oh my goodness they’ll think I’m daft and I started to apologise but they both just started laughing. I just walked away thinking that’s like it used to be, you always acknowledged people with a nod or a smile.
You carry on just the way you are Sheila. You are one of the nicest people i know.
A keen and knowledgeable blue as well.
Take care x
 
Every year on New Year’s Eve my mum rings me and says “I hope this new year finally brings you a bit of happiness and luck”.
I’m 49, twice divorced and currently trying to hold my third marriage together but it’s like sand running through my fingers.
I work for the NHS as a band 2 support worker and my wife and I just can’t seem to earn enough to get by. We moved into our first bought (instead of rented) home this time last year and it’s turned into a bloody money pit! The boiler died in October and a new one was not something we could afford so had to get a loan, then we found we had a leak in the pipe work which cost us another small fortune to find and repair and involved ripping up the laminate floor. The bill for that work I just can’t pay!
To add to that my dad is in and out of hospital (10 times so far this year) and is currently in Preston hospital after yet another operation and he’s looking like this might be one operation too many - he’s very weak and frail from Parkinson’s. His BP is constantly low and he’s at risk of a stroke or heart attack. He and my mum are so skint that I’ve just had to sell his mobility scooter for them to raise some cash!
I’ve had depression and anxiety for years and have only recently got out of a huge trough that nearly killed me but I can feel myself slowly heading that way again. We can’t pay the mortgage this month, plus add the loan for the boiler, plumber fees and Xmas and it makes me want to cry.
I’m trying to keep my mum positive and tell her dad will be ok, he’ll be home for Xmas etc but I’m struggling to believe it. And if he does get home he’s going to be immobile.
I can’t feel positive about anything right now. I don’t even look at City scores!!!
I turn 50 next May and my life looks like a fucking disaster. It’s so easy to do the “woe is me” bit at times like this and I try really hard not to but I’m finding it harder every day to hold myself together and try to be strong.
My ex wife left me 10 years ago for a wealthy man and she told me I earned crap money and would never give her the life she wanted. Years later and I can’t even take my wife out or buy her something for Xmas, and holidays are things other people do...
I look at my life now, how miserable my wife is and can’t help thinking it could happen again. Everything just seems to be going fucking wrong. I’m picking up bank shifts on my days off when I can but but it’s just not enough.
Not sure where I’m really going with all this, but after today I just needed to say it.
Besides the advice @karen7 gave I'd advise having a look at the Money Saving Expert website, there's a lot of different forums depending on what you need but if debt comes into it start with:-

https://forums.moneysavingexpert.com/forumdisplay.php?f=76

There's a lot of good advice and some real experts who know what they're talking about on there.

Good luck bud.
 
My ex wife left me 10 years ago for a wealthy man and she told me I earned crap money and would never give her the life she wanted.

Whatever happened to for richer or poorer, in sickness and in health?

You are well rid mate.

Regarding your mortgage can you not ask for a payment holiday or extend the term a few years?

Hang on in there, and take every day as it comes. Talk about your issues, whatever you do, don't bottle them up, that's the worst thing you can do.

Good luck. You WILL get through this.

Many people on this forum are probably going through some form of shit right now, I know it's hard but try to remain positive.
 
We’ll just to top things off - I’m here at Preston hospital with my mum because my dad has deteriorated and is now unconscious and mum wants to stay here overnight. I say I’ll go to my home in Lancaster to get her some toiletries etc and go to take the lock and chain off my motorbike and the bastard key has snapped off in the lock!!!!! My mate is driving through from Manchester with an angle grinder to try and get it off. You couldn’t write this shit....
 
Great idea for a thread and huge respect to everyone for opening up and sharing your experiences, thank you. Hopefully its been a bit of a weight off your shoulders. There's also been some great advice shared which shows Bluemoon at its best.

I've written and deleted about five posts now, but here goes... I battle depression and anxiety, have done for the past ten years. It was brought on by bereavements but its managed to impact on all aspects of my life, personally and professionally.

The biggest thing getting me down at the moment is that I'm out of work. A few months ago I did the one thing you're always advised not to, quitting your job without having another lined up. The market has gone quiet and companies are taking forever in coming back to me, it would seem I massively misjudged how quickly I would be able to get another job and I'm starting to really regret the action I took, but I was in such a dark place and got myself so worked up that at the time I felt it was the only option.

It started after Christmas last year when I was over looked for a promotion (the person who got the job used to work with the person who interviewed them...). I struggle with self confidence and despite getting great scores at annual reviews etc the comments that I always get is that I doubt myself too much, should have more confidence etc. It doesn't take much to set me back so after months of malicious behaviour on their behalf and me constantly being undermined finally my position became untenable. It severely impacted on my health and I was off with stress. I had a return to work meeting with my boss where I was told that work would be full on and to make sure I was ready to return. There was no suggestion that either they or the company might be able to do anything to support me and the matter was never discussed again in my remaining time there. (I have since been told by lawyers if I'd filed a grievance I would have had a case for constructive dismissal with all the shady shit they pulled with me, too many to list here).

During my time off sick I was prescribed anti depressants, but I've been reluctant to use them since I read up on the side effects which mentioned the possibility of bringing on a 'manic episode'. I am currently looking in to CBT which having read Tolmie's post I think would be beneficial. I'm trying to use time out of work to improve my mental health, by staying positive, reading and exercising more but the nagging self doubt is never far away. If I don't get a job I've interviewed for I beat myself up about questions I could have answered better etc and that plays on my mind for a long time afterwards.

I've been in debt for the majority of my adult life and with not working it all feels like the walls are closing in. Apart from attending interviews I've become more or less a recluse. I haven't seem most of my friends or family for months. Nearly every social activity involves spending money and I'm watching every penny not knowing when my next pay cheque will come.

The hardest part of my current situation is knowing that its my own doing, I let things get on top of me and made a bad choice. I'm single with no kids so fortunately my poor decision making hasn't affected anyone other than me, I'm just hoping it is a temporary setback. It has definitely made me realise that I can't just walk away from my problems. I now need to work out how best to deal with them when they next arise.

An articulate post Mr Caddy and as you say "a temporary setback". One door closes and another opens and the opportunity to shine will once more rear it's head. Try not to worry too much about the debt aspect as it's only a means to an end and it's a well known fact that we enter this arena with nowt and most verily we shall leave with nowt. Concentrate more on keeping up with committal payments like rent rates food and fuel until such time as circumstances dictate otherwise. Bereavement as you have suffered causes many ripples in the pond of life and if we are not careful can and do transform themselves into mini tsunamis with the capability to induce stress creating tentacles that reach out into the very fabric of our well-being. Time mais oui is the fabled great healer allowing the waves to steady themselves back into ripples and the eventual calmer waters ahead. Enjoy your Christmas do keep Moonwalking and prepare your mindset well for the next wonderful stage of the journey that's about to commence. Adios.
 
An articulate post Mr Caddy and as you say "a temporary setback". One door closes and another opens and the opportunity to shine will once more rear it's head. Try not to worry too much about the debt aspect as it's only a means to an end and it's a well known fact that we enter this arena with nowt and most verily we shall leave with nowt. Concentrate more on keeping up with committal payments like rent rates food and fuel until such time as circumstances dictate otherwise. Bereavement as you have suffered causes many ripples in the pond of life and if we are not careful can and do transform themselves into mini tsunamis with the capability to induce stress creating tentacles that reach out into the very fabric of our well-being. Time mais oui is the fabled great healer allowing the waves to steady themselves back into ripples and the eventual calmer waters ahead. Enjoy your Christmas do keep Moonwalking and prepare your mindset well for the next wonderful stage of the journey that's about to commence. Adios.

Not as articulate as your post mate, I enjoyed reading that and thank you for the positivity it is much appreciated!

I think this thread was a great idea. I definitely feel better having engaged with other posters on here and via PM. If anyone is thinking of posting but holding back I would definitely encourage them to go for it.
 

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