Joke thread

[maccieblue]

Is that Peter Reid?

 

[Barcon]

The CEO of IKEA was just elected president in Sweden... He should have his cabinet together by the end of the week

You just made Lisa laugh, and that ain't easy.

 

[Blue Mist]

You just made Lisa laugh, and that ain't easy.

Oh I don't know, every morning she wakes up looks over at you and bursts out laughing

 

[Barcon]

Oh I don't know, every morning she wakes up looks over at you and bursts out laughing

That's called "crying", mate.

 

[DrBlueBob]

You just made Lisa laugh, and that ain't easy.

I apologise for the vision in my minds eye of Lisa being like Norman Bates' mother and you with a maniacal look in your eye whilst saying "You just made Lisa laugh"

 

[aguero93:20]

Ulrika Jonsson has been rushed to hospital after slipping & falling on her mobile phone, with it getting firmly wedged in her anus.

A hospital spokesman said: “Doctors are confident she’ll make a full recovery as it’s not the first time she’s had an Eriksson up her arse...”

 

[mat]

Should that emoji be on the Stockport thread?

 

[BimboBob]

I apologise for the vision in my minds eye of Lisa being like Norman Bates' mother and you with a maniacal look in your eye whilst saying "You just made Lisa laugh"

Lisa is a bit of a babe. Let's just say Bacon isn't.

 

[NPBlue]

I bought a new Tom Tom sat nav today. It came with Bono's voice and it's shit. The streets have no name and I just can't find what I'm looking for.

I'll get my coat.

 

[Blue Mist]

Lisa is a bit of a babe. Let's just say Bacon isn't.

I think another way to describe it is....
Punching above his weight
or
Won the lottery without buying a ticket
or
the jammiest bastard in the history of man, what the fuck she sees in him is anybodys guess, I can only assume it was an arranged marriage as no fucker would look twice at him, unless it was to punch him which it seems someone has done many times. Mind you they do say that nurses often fall for their patients, perhaps as his Carer, Lisa found an inner beauty (as there is nothing on the outside)

 

[Barcon]

Lisa is a bit of a babe. Let's just say Bacon isn't.

Let's just not.

 

[Barcon]

I think another way to describe it is....
Punching above his weight
or
Won the lottery without buying a ticket
or
the jammiest bastard in the history of man, what the fuck she sees in him is anybodys guess, I can only assume it was an arranged marriage as no fucker would look twice at him, unless it was to punch him which it seems someone has done many times. Mind you they do say that nurses often fall for their patients, perhaps as his Carer, Lisa found an inner beauty (as there is nothing on the outside)

You're no oil painting, mate.

 

[Blue Mist]

You're no oil painting, mate.

He he, did I go a bit OTT ?

 

[BimboBob]

He he, did I go a bit OTT ?

Karen reckons Bacon is a bit of a hunk.

 

[Barcon]

Karen reckons Bacon is a bit of a hunk.

That’s only because I gave her seeing eye dog some biscuits.

 

[Barcon]

He he, did I go a bit OTT ?

I’ve been told that I look like ken Dodd lately, so no, not really.

 

[BimboBob]

I’ve been told that I look like ken Dodd lately, so no, not really.

A dish then. You can touch me with your tickling stick anytime big boy...

 

[ChicagoBlue]

Lisa is a bit of a babe. Let's just say Bacon isn't.

You know the rules...!

 

[bumbleblue]

I’ve been told that I look like ken Dodd lately, so no, not really.

By Jove!

 

[dronefromsector7G]

Karen reckons Bacon is a bit of a hunk.

Barry Manilow fan?