Joke thread

The Council Job Interview

Ex-Squaddie goes to the local council to apply for a job in the office
The interviewer asks him, "Are you allergic to anything?"

He replies, "Yes, caffeine."

"Have you ever worked for the public service before?"

"Yes, I was in the army." he says, "I was in Iraq for two tours."

The interviewer says, "That will give
you 5 extra points towards employment."

Then he asks, "Are you disabled in
any way?" The guy says, "Yes. A mine exploded
near me when I was there and I lost
both of my testicles".

The interviewer grimaces and then says, "O.K. You've got enough points for me to take you on right away. Our normal
hours are from 8.00am to 4.00pm....... but you can start tomorrow at 10.00am and carry on starting at 10.00am every day."

The bloke is puzzled and asks, "If the work hours are from 8.00am to 4.00pm, why don't you want me here until 10.00am?
I'm not looking for any special treatment y'know"

"What you have to understand is that this is a council job," the interviewer says, "For the first two hours, we just stand
around drinking coffee and scratching our bollocks.

There's no point in you coming in for that."The Council Job Interview

Ex-Squaddie goes to the local council to apply for a job in the office
The interviewer asks him, "Are you allergic to anything?"

He replies, "Yes, caffeine."

"Have you ever worked for the public service before?"

"Yes, I was in the army." he says, "I was in Iraq for two tours."

The interviewer says, "That will give
you 5 extra points towards employment."

Then he asks, "Are you disabled in
any way?" The guy says, "Yes. A mine exploded
near me when I was there and I lost
both of my testicles".

The interviewer grimaces and then says, "O.K. You've got enough points for me to take you on right away. Our normal
hours are from 8.00am to 4.00pm....... but you can start tomorrow at 10.00am and carry on starting at 10.00am every day."

The bloke is puzzled and asks, "If the work hours are from 8.00am to 4.00pm, why don't you want me here until 10.00am?
I'm not looking for any special treatment y'know"

"What you have to understand is that this is a council job," the interviewer says, "For the first two hours, we just stand
around drinking coffee and scratching our bollocks.

There's no point in you coming in for that."
 
The Council Job Interview

Ex-Squaddie goes to the local council to apply for a job in the office
The interviewer asks him, "Are you allergic to anything?"

He replies, "Yes, caffeine."

"Have you ever worked for the public service before?"

"Yes, I was in the army." he says, "I was in Iraq for two tours."

The interviewer says, "That will give
you 5 extra points towards employment."

Then he asks, "Are you disabled in
any way?" The guy says, "Yes. A mine exploded
near me when I was there and I lost
both of my testicles".

The interviewer grimaces and then says, "O.K. You've got enough points for me to take you on right away. Our normal
hours are from 8.00am to 4.00pm....... but you can start tomorrow at 10.00am and carry on starting at 10.00am every day."

The bloke is puzzled and asks, "If the work hours are from 8.00am to 4.00pm, why don't you want me here until 10.00am?
I'm not looking for any special treatment y'know"

"What you have to understand is that this is a council job," the interviewer says, "For the first two hours, we just stand
around drinking coffee and scratching our bollocks.

There's no point in you coming in for that."The Council Job Interview

Ex-Squaddie goes to the local council to apply for a job in the office
The interviewer asks him, "Are you allergic to anything?"

He replies, "Yes, caffeine."

"Have you ever worked for the public service before?"

"Yes, I was in the army." he says, "I was in Iraq for two tours."

The interviewer says, "That will give
you 5 extra points towards employment."

Then he asks, "Are you disabled in
any way?" The guy says, "Yes. A mine exploded
near me when I was there and I lost
both of my testicles".

The interviewer grimaces and then says, "O.K. You've got enough points for me to take you on right away. Our normal
hours are from 8.00am to 4.00pm....... but you can start tomorrow at 10.00am and carry on starting at 10.00am every day."

The bloke is puzzled and asks, "If the work hours are from 8.00am to 4.00pm, why don't you want me here until 10.00am?
I'm not looking for any special treatment y'know"

"What you have to understand is that this is a council job," the interviewer says, "For the first two hours, we just stand
around drinking coffee and scratching our bollocks.

There's no point in you coming in for that."
Nope can't find a punchline in that for copy & pasting it twice.
 

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