Joke thread

[Scottyboi]

Guy goes into a nightclub.

Approaches a random girl and asks her

"Scuse me. Can I smell your pussy?"

Outraged she replies "No you can not!"

"My mistake" says he "Must be your feet, then."



Well it made me laugh.

No word of a lie I did that as a chat up line in a competition on holiday to a 60 year old glaswegian woman. She was fuming hahaha

 

[Deepest Blue]

No word of a lie I did that as a chat up line in a competition on holiday to a 60 year old glaswegian woman. She was fuming hahaha

You smooth rascal, you.

 

[Scottyboi]

You smooth rascal, you.

The entertainment staff told me off and said it's a family show haha.

 

[jimharri]

WTF is an acronym?

 

[Dicko69]

What do you call a fat psychic?


A four chin teller

 

[Tuearts right boot]

Yorkshire has finally got it's own social media platform....T' Witter

 

[Tuearts right boot]

You sir, are an aerosol

Reminds of the Polish guy in Boots buying a deodorant...asks at the counter and the assistant asks..." Ball or Aerosol "
" Neither, it is for my arm pits...."

 

[BackofJeanette]

@Deepest Blue

Bloody hell Phil.....I think I read that in the Sparky years ago!


Three old spinster sisters, Kitty, Sissy and Fanny, never had boyfriends in their lives due to the fact they all had big feet. Kitty and Sissy wore a 12 but Fanny wore size 16.
They finally decided to get over their embarrassment and have a night out in town.
However on the last minute Fanny didn't want to go, so Kitty and Sissy went anyway.
After a few drinks they finally pulled a couple of guys.
One of the lads looked down and said " bloody hell girls, haven't you got big feet!"
To which Sissy and Kitty replied together,
" Ha! If you think our feet are big you should see the size of our Fannies!"

Thank you and goodnight!

 

[Deepest Blue]

@Deepest Blue

Bloody hell Phil.....I think I read that in the Sparky years ago!



!

You never read the Sparky.
For a perv like you it had to be Cor!

 

[Mozzer]

Wizzer and Chips was my comic of choice.