Joke thread

Don't let somebody else ruin your day.
Its your life - you live it.
Feel free to fuck your day up for yourself
 
Shouldn't this be in the Jadon Sancho thread?

I am really worried - the January window is fast approaching and we have yet to identify - big up and say we are going to pay big money for a player who is bang average so the rags can push in, buy him and claim a "win". We are really losing our touch at running up no-hopers for them to buy.
 
or to put it another way...

OGS walks into a bar................. well given the way its going for him who wouldn't turn to drink...........
 
I am really worried - the January window is fast approaching and we have yet to identify - big up and say we are going to pay big money for a player who is bang average so the rags can push in, buy him and claim a "win". We are really losing our touch at running up no-hopers for them to buy.
Adama Traoré would be perfect for us
He has pace, can cross and a great finisher, plus he can also play multiple positions . A £100m bid isn't out of the question.
I just hope United don't gazump us as he's also the player that could unlock Pogba
 
Adama Traoré would be perfect for us
He has pace, can cross and a great finisher, plus he can also play multiple positions . A £100m bid isn't out of the question.
I just hope United don't gazump us as he's also the player that could unlock Pogba
You're correct but his parents and grand parents were born and raised in Salford, his dad sold burgers just off the United Rd and his mum used to iron Fergies socks in between shifts at Macaris chippy and he was a babe in arms on the Stretford End. Nice thought but I cant honestly see it.
 
A new arrival is being shown around Hell by Satan himself, “You can choose where you spend eternity”.
In the first chamber, people are lashing each other with spiked whips, there’s screaming and blood everywhere, “I don’t fancy that” the man says. They move on.
In the second chamber people are throwing buckets of hot water over each other. “How hot is the water” the man asks, “100 F-boiling” he’s told. Everyone has massive blisters and scalding. “Not for me” the man says. They move on.
In the third chamber, everyone is sat on stools drinking cups of tea. There’s an awful smell as the floor is deep in human shit. The man thinks he’ll get used to it and agrees to stay there. “Okay, says the devil, grab a cup of tea and find a stool to sit on”. The Devil leaves.
Five minutes later he returns, “OK, tea break over, off the stools and back on your heads”.
 

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