Joke of the day

[dronefromsector7G]

Why is there two shit joke threads?

LP needs the extra space for his spamming

 

[mscenterh750]

Gareth Southgate.

 

[JASR]

Pep is so multi talented, that back in the day he stepped in for Freddie when he wanted a night off from the concert tour, and no-one noticed.

 

[tommybooth]

Southgate goes into a pub.

 

[GornikDaze]

Pep is so multi talented, that back in the day he stepped in for Freddie when he wanted a night off from the concert tour, and no-one noticed.
View attachment 122914

And Mr Bean on the left

 

[kippaxneil]

I've just tried to explain to my neighbour's 4-year-old son that it's perfectly normal to accidentally poop your pants, but he's still making fun of me.

 

[Dave Ewing's Back 'eader]

Did you miss the bit where they said “we don’t sell wasps” to which the kid replies “well, you’ve got one in the window!"

It'd be better too if it were a jam tart shop and not a sweet shop!

 

[Lavinda Past]

LP needs the extra space for his spamming

At least you didn’t say spaffing... no-one wants to think about that sort of thing.

 

[Tuearts right boot]

A native American chief had three wives, each of whom was pregnant....

The first gave birth to a boy. The chief was so elated that he built her a teepee made of deer hide.

A few days later, the second gave birth, also to a boy. The chief was very happy. He built her a teepee made of antelope hide.

The third wife gave birth a few days later, but the chief kept the details a secret. He built this one a two story teepee, made out of a hippopotamus hide.

The chief then challenged the tribe to guess what had occurred.

Many tried, unsuccessfully. Finally, one young brave declared that the third wife had given birth to twin boys.

"Correct," said the chief. "How did you figure it out?"

The warrior answered, "It's elementary. The value of the squaw of the hippopotamus is equal to the sons of the squaws of the other two hides."

Are these ' jokes ' not covered by the terms and conditions of this site. If not, they should be.

 

[Lavinda Past]

Are these ' jokes ' not covered by the terms and conditions of this site. If not, they should be.

Some of them are designed for those of a higher intellectual level, some for lower.

Unfortunately, one size does not fit all.

What you have to bear in mind is that the thread isn't just for you to read. Jokes are for everyone to enjoy or groan at.

 

[Lavinda Past]

Why is there two shit joke threads?

Thus one is the naughty step. The other is meh.

 

[KS55]

Why is there two shit joke threads?

A double shit thread works wonders, works wonders, works wonders..
(Apologies to Double Diamond)

 

[J.G.Blue.]

Pep is so multi talented, that back in the day he stepped in for Freddie when he wanted a night off from the concert tour, and no-one noticed.
View attachment 122914

"We are the champions"

 

[mancity2012_eamo]

It'd be better too if it were a jam tart shop and not a sweet shop!

Are you too young to remember sweets in big jars being sold by the pound and put into brown paper bags?
Nothing funny about that, I’m just curious.

 

[mancity2012_eamo]

Southgate goes into a bar.

And he said ouch.
It was an iron bar.

The guy swinging it said, “ that’s for Phil, you muppet”.

 

[Tuearts right boot]

Are you too young to remember sweets in big jars being sold by the pound and put into brown paper bags?
Nothing funny about that, I’m just curious.

Cola cubes
Torpedos
White mice
Black jacks
Pear drops
Flying saucers
........

 

[Lavinda Past]

 

[KS55]

Cola cubes
Torpedos
White mice
Black jacks
Pear drops
Flying saucers
........

Sherbet lemons
Midget gems
Love hearts
Parma violets
Aniseed balls
Liquorice allsorts.

 

[Tuearts right boot]

Sherbet lemons
Midget gems
Love hearts
Parma violets
Aniseed balls

Aniseed ball.....a blast from the past. Red outer, white inner with a black thingy right in the centre ?????

 

[Barcon]

Some of them are designed for those of a higher intellectual level, some for lower.

Unfortunately, one size does not fit all.

What you have to bear in mind is that the thread isn't just for you to read. Jokes are for everyone to enjoy or groan at.

No way would a native North American have access to a hippopotamus hide.