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And remember kid, if you ever come back, we know where your grannies live. Now get the hell out of here.

I had a major heart-attack in May and am really delighted to be able to be back in my old seat in East Level 2 - block 201. The Consultant says I mustn't get too excited - but sod it - I'm just grateful to be back in the best seat in the best stadium watching the best team in the land. My only...

Re: Bluemoon SeasonCard Holders Only 201

Whatever her reasons for producing such tripe, I think it's about time Angela Epstein either took a little gardening leave or simply had a re-think about her chosen career. I assume it's not too late for a complete career change. Perhaps she might like to consider becoming a writer of royal...

My God there are some miserable sods out there moaning about the way we might play. I suppose they sit up all night on Christmas Eve trying to guess what's in the wrapped presents and thinking of how soon they can take them back for a refund when they open them find they don't like them! I am...

As far as the police are concerned, they informed everyone that they would be searched and that they should get there early. I can only assume that any bottles brought into the ground were brought in by Fergie and his team of neanderthals to drown their sorrows at the end. Clearly someone...

Tell the miserable git you have to go to Stevie Ireland's granny's funeral. If he asks which one, say all of them !

Here's a few "Celebrity Rag Fans".......... Victoria Beckham - Posh Spice Richard Ashcroft - Verve Michael Atherton - Cricketer Ian Brown - Stone Roses Tim Burgess - Charlatans Mark Charnock - Marlon Dingle Terry Christian - The Word Steve Coogan...

You'll have some wonderful memories - cherish them. Sincere condolences.

Whilst everyone seems to be best-guessing what will happen with the revised dates and knock-on postponements, and how this will mess up birthdays, holidays etc can I remind some of you that this is still the season of good will towards all men. Perhaps instead of being so selfish, we ought to...

That's how it reads.

This applied to the 2007/8 Carling Cup - I assume it still stands. 13.4 In the event of the scores being level at the end of ninety minutes’ play in Rounds One, Two, Three, Four and Five an extra half-hour shall be played. If the tie is still undecided after extra time, the winners shall be...

How's about each player acknowledging the crowd with a wave when their names are called out on the PA before the match. As an extra bonus, they could also promise to donate all their wages to the crowd if they ever lose. It would probably work out at about £12 each if we have a capacity crowd...

Thought you might like to see this little beauty off their forum....... I reckon we'll lose, but it won't bother me. It's the league cup for fuck's sake, let City have their tinpot trophy. £300million and a league cup to show for it. Now there's confidence for you.

A bit late in the day, but I found this crap prediction on one of the rag forums. 9000 visiting Leeds fans visiting the Champions to see how football is supposed to be played. 4 - 0 prediction. :-) I still can't stop smiling !

And I think Fergie's treatment of Prince Andrew was appalling as well.........or do you mean the other bastard?

I'm surprised he wasn't nicked for not clearing all the snow off his car. He could have been charged with not seeing where he was going. Mind you, I must admit I'm as guilty as him. I couldn't see where the hell he was going either !

I know it's early days, but it's never too early to vote Alan Green as "Twat of the Century". He gets my vote every time - despite Garth Crooks doing all he can to get the title. Crooks is a Pontificating Arsehole. I just wish all the other panel members would tell him to zip it.

Stuart Hall - Priceless. Eddie Waring - Priceless. Alan Green - Worthless.

Don't ring us. Someone will ring you.