Drunken Sleep Pissing - We've all done it, haven't we?

[Barcon]

I apparently got up in the middle of the night and pissed on my sisters boyfriend who was sleeping on the floor in front on my fish tank. I blamed it on the fish. He had pink hair anyway.

 

[andyhinch]

Is there any man out there who can seriously claim to have not done a drunken sleep piss?

Whether it's in a wardrobe or drawer, on the wife or in a hotel corridor, the mystery sleep piss remains a bastion of manhood.

My personal theory is that it's your brains way of ensuring you don't piss the bed. And the reason that everyone remembers waking up pissing on a plant in a hotel or being told they pissed in the drawer at a mate's house is because in a strange house your brain gets lost.

I reckon we all do it more than we think in our own toilet and never even know. There've definitely been oddly large splashback stains around our toilet some mornings after a session.

So let's have your tales, gentlemen. Or ladies come to think of it. Surely there's some lady out there prepared to admit to nightsquatting?

Only once that I can remember, did some pub change thing, ended up at a mates house in Salford, woke up thought I'd been kidnaped and pissed out of a window because I couldn't find a door, the tail of the night out is to long to go into but trowing up over a fruit machine some girls tits and doing a runner from the taxi spring to mind.

 

[Wretched Vengeance]

After 10 months in the Middle East, flew back to Brize Norton. Somehow, between Brize and ????,me and 2 other lads managed to get beyond fuckfaced.

Arrived home at the train station where the missus was picking me (us) up and demanded she drop the lads off whilst still tinning up.

My next memory is; the missus waking me up, with a handful of slack penis, trying to knot it like it's an unruly hose, screaming at me "YOU'RE PISSING THE FUCKING BED!!!!"

It was good to be home.

 

[MCFC BOB]

I wasn't drunk, but I'd been to see a band at the Ritz in Manchester. Because I live in the Northern Quarter now I didn't need to get a lift home back to Stockport so I waited outside for the band to come out afterwards to have some pictures and autographs done.

Anyway, they finally came out at 1am so I hadn't been for a piss since around 8pm and I was bursting. I walked back from the Ritz past Manchester G-MEX, across Market Street and past the Arndale.

As I passed the Midland Hotel I realised that perhaps the urge to piss was too strong. I'd managed to reach St. Peter's Square tram station outside Central Library and I couldn't hold it any longer.

So there I stood, in the open, with no bushes to hide behind, pissing against a wall. Not that many people walked past or looked to see what I was doing - they must have assumed I was pissed - but that is probably my lowest point on the piss scale.

 

[mcfc1982]

stayed at upscale hotel in the midlands for a conference and ended up getting sloshed went back to my room and jumped in to bed, next thing i remember is pissing out of the fire exit, cig in gob on the ground floor bollock naked no lighter no room key and i was staying on the 3rd floor.

had to go to reception hide behind a tree and get the guy to open my room while i hid behind a corner then ran in to the room quickly, woke the next day will clean up bill added to clear up the piss and fine for lighting up in my room.

 

[Nebuchadnezzar]

Maybe i've never been pissed enough, but I can honestly say I have never pissed or shit myself whilst drunk

 

[dazdon]

I have never pissed in my sleep because i was drunk.

It isn't normal you smelly bastards.

 

[malg]

I wasn't drunk, but I'd been to see a band at the Ritz in Manchester. Because I live in the Northern Quarter now I didn't need to get a lift home back to Stockport so I waited outside for the band to come out afterwards to have some pictures and autographs done.

Anyway, they finally came out at 1am so I hadn't been for a piss since around 8pm and I was bursting. I walked back from the Ritz past Manchester G-MEX, across Market Street and past the Arndale.

As I passed the Midland Hotel I realised that perhaps the urge to piss was too strong. I'd managed to reach St. Peter's Square tram station outside Central Library and I couldn't hold it any longer.

So there I stood, in the open, with no bushes to hide behind, pissing against a wall. Not that many people walked past or looked to see what I was doing - they must have assumed I was pissed - but that is probably my lowest point on the piss scale.

Virgin................if that's your low point you should drink more!

 

[BoyBlue_1985]

Is this an age thing? As I have never got drunk and pissed myself awake or asleep

 

[malg]

Is this an age thing? As I have never got drunk and pissed myself awake or asleep

No, it's a drink thing. It's not just about getting pissed, it's about mixing your drinks. I find that a start of a couple of pints of lager at around 1900hrs, then sit down to a meal and have a bottle of red (or more). Get up from the table for a piss at around 2100hrs and also cram in a pint of lager before getting back to your seat and then consume about 6 or 7 glasses if port and more wine. Make your way to the bar at around 2300hrs and consume more lager, and port if it's on the go. Before the bar shuts at around 0200hrs make sure you get a bottle of spirits and drink shots until you pass out, or stumble to bed. Then there's a good chance of pissing yourself..........it could also be about age though!