Only once that I can remember, did some pub change thing, ended up at a mates house in Salford, woke up thought I'd been kidnaped and pissed out of a window because I couldn't find a door, the tail of the night out is to long to go into but trowing up over a fruit machine some girls tits and doing a runner from the taxi spring to mind.Didsbury Dave said:Is there any man out there who can seriously claim to have not done a drunken sleep piss?
Whether it's in a wardrobe or drawer, on the wife or in a hotel corridor, the mystery sleep piss remains a bastion of manhood.
My personal theory is that it's your brains way of ensuring you don't piss the bed. And the reason that everyone remembers waking up pissing on a plant in a hotel or being told they pissed in the drawer at a mate's house is because in a strange house your brain gets lost.
I reckon we all do it more than we think in our own toilet and never even know. There've definitely been oddly large splashback stains around our toilet some mornings after a session.
So let's have your tales, gentlemen. Or ladies come to think of it. Surely there's some lady out there prepared to admit to nightsquatting?
Virgin................if that's your low point you should drink more!MCFC BOB said:I wasn't drunk, but I'd been to see a band at the Ritz in Manchester. Because I live in the Northern Quarter now I didn't need to get a lift home back to Stockport so I waited outside for the band to come out afterwards to have some pictures and autographs done.
Anyway, they finally came out at 1am so I hadn't been for a piss since around 8pm and I was bursting. I walked back from the Ritz past Manchester G-MEX, across Market Street and past the Arndale.
As I passed the Midland Hotel I realised that perhaps the urge to piss was too strong. I'd managed to reach St. Peter's Square tram station outside Central Library and I couldn't hold it any longer.
So there I stood, in the open, with no bushes to hide behind, pissing against a wall. Not that many people walked past or looked to see what I was doing - they must have assumed I was pissed - but that is probably my lowest point on the piss scale.
No, it's a drink thing. It's not just about getting pissed, it's about mixing your drinks. I find that a start of a couple of pints of lager at around 1900hrs, then sit down to a meal and have a bottle of red (or more). Get up from the table for a piss at around 2100hrs and also cram in a pint of lager before getting back to your seat and then consume about 6 or 7 glasses if port and more wine. Make your way to the bar at around 2300hrs and consume more lager, and port if it's on the go. Before the bar shuts at around 0200hrs make sure you get a bottle of spirits and drink shots until you pass out, or stumble to bed. Then there's a good chance of pissing yourself..........it could also be about age though!BoyBlue_1985 said:Is this an age thing? As I have never got drunk and pissed myself awake or asleep
malg said:No, it's a drink thing. It's not just about getting pissed, it's about mixing your drinks. I find that a start of a couple of pints of lager at around 1900hrs, then sit down to a meal and have a bottle of red (or more). Get up from the table for a piss at around 2100hrs and also cram in a pint of lager before getting back to your seat and then consume about 6 or 7 glasses if port and more wine. Make your way to the bar at around 2300hrs and consume more lager, and port if it's on the go. Before the bar shuts at around 0200hrs make sure you get a bottle of spirits and drink shots until you pass out, or stumble to bed. Then there's a good chance of pissing yourself..........it could also be about age though!BoyBlue_1985 said:Is this an age thing? As I have never got drunk and pissed myself awake or asleep
Pezzer2 said:Not really done it myself but my mate is notorious for pissing in different places. He once pissed in his bird's knee high boots, we also had a pedal bin in a hotel room and 3 nights running pissed in that thinking that when the lid flipped up it was a toilet seat. The same guy has pissed in draws, cupboards and even on his mum and dad asleep.
Another mate staying a birds house (who was living with her parents) went for a pee and when he come back went in the wrong room and jumped in bed with her mum and dad.
The best was my dads mate though. He shit the bed after a heavy session whilst his misses was sleeping beside him. While she was asleep, he managed to smear shit all over her knickers, went for a wash and come back in and sneaked into bed again and then woke her shouting "you dirty bastard, what the hell has happened" Dont think she knows the truth to this day
You think she would notice that it hadn't come out of her ass when she goes for the old wipe as wellCTID1988 said:Pezzer2 said:Not really done it myself but my mate is notorious for pissing in different places. He once pissed in his bird's knee high boots, we also had a pedal bin in a hotel room and 3 nights running pissed in that thinking that when the lid flipped up it was a toilet seat. The same guy has pissed in draws, cupboards and even on his mum and dad asleep.
Another mate staying a birds house (who was living with her parents) went for a pee and when he come back went in the wrong room and jumped in bed with her mum and dad.
The best was my dads mate though. He shit the bed after a heavy session whilst his misses was sleeping beside him. While she was asleep, he managed to smear shit all over her knickers, went for a wash and come back in and sneaked into bed again and then woke her shouting "you dirty bastard, what the hell has happened" Dont think she knows the truth to this day
This story must be an urban legend...Ive heard atleast 10 people tell the same thing
BoyBlue_1985 said:You think she would notice that it hadn't come out of her ass when she goes for the old wipe as wellCTID1988 said:Pezzer2 said:Not really done it myself but my mate is notorious for pissing in different places. He once pissed in his bird's knee high boots, we also had a pedal bin in a hotel room and 3 nights running pissed in that thinking that when the lid flipped up it was a toilet seat. The same guy has pissed in draws, cupboards and even on his mum and dad asleep.
Another mate staying a birds house (who was living with her parents) went for a pee and when he come back went in the wrong room and jumped in bed with her mum and dad.
The best was my dads mate though. He shit the bed after a heavy session whilst his misses was sleeping beside him. While she was asleep, he managed to smear shit all over her knickers, went for a wash and come back in and sneaked into bed again and then woke her shouting "you dirty bastard, what the hell has happened" Dont think she knows the truth to this day
This story must be an urban legend...Ive heard atleast 10 people tell the same thing
Im American so kiss my fannyPelly Greeny said:I can honestly say that in my adult life I have never pissed or soiled myself no matter how drunk I've been. I don't think I've ever been sick anywhere other than in the toilet or somewhere I intended to - i.e. not on myself or someone else, in the carpet/bed/dog.
There have been plenty of times where I have barely been able to crawl up the stairs or simply couldn't get off the settee - but no accidents.
I have a friend who does it regularly - so much so the spare room has a bed with a rubber matress protector on it and he is sent there when he gets to a now easily recognised threshold of pissedness. Not long ago he woke up facedown and rolled over only to scream out in pain and roll back again as the shards of broken glass in his back dug in. Apparantly he'd pissed the bed and was hoping to get back into his dry marital bed but was turned around and sent back. On the way back he bumped into a picture on the wall, knocked it off and fell backwards onto it obviously breaking the glass. His wife said she had great fun with the tweezers picking out the bits from his back :-D
-- Fri Jun 21, 2013 10:07 am --
BoyBlue_1985 said:You think she would notice that it hadn't come out of her ass when she goes for the old wipe as wellCTID1988 said:This story must be an urban legend...Ive heard atleast 10 people tell the same thing
What the hell was an ass doing in the bedroom? Do they have some sort of nativity re-enactment fetish?
Smart ARSE ;-)BoyBlue_1985 said:Im American so kiss my fannyPelly Greeny said:I can honestly say that in my adult life I have never pissed or soiled myself no matter how drunk I've been. I don't think I've ever been sick anywhere other than in the toilet or somewhere I intended to - i.e. not on myself or someone else, in the carpet/bed/dog.
There have been plenty of times where I have barely been able to crawl up the stairs or simply couldn't get off the settee - but no accidents.
I have a friend who does it regularly - so much so the spare room has a bed with a rubber matress protector on it and he is sent there when he gets to a now easily recognised threshold of pissedness. Not long ago he woke up facedown and rolled over only to scream out in pain and roll back again as the shards of broken glass in his back dug in. Apparantly he'd pissed the bed and was hoping to get back into his dry marital bed but was turned around and sent back. On the way back he bumped into a picture on the wall, knocked it off and fell backwards onto it obviously breaking the glass. His wife said she had great fun with the tweezers picking out the bits from his back :-D
-- Fri Jun 21, 2013 10:07 am --
BoyBlue_1985 said:You think she would notice that it hadn't come out of her ass when she goes for the old wipe as well
What the hell was an ass doing in the bedroom? Do they have some sort of nativity re-enactment fetish?