Favourite lines from Viz

[Ancient Citizen]

'Scottish Yoga' n.
A hot bath and a can of of Tennants super.

'Rip Snorter' n.
A 'Bakewell Tart' that sounds like Douglas Fairbanks junior sliding down the canvas sail of a square-rigged pirate ship on his dagger.

 

[bonespost]

Feed your cat gold and silver glitter,and make next doors garden have a bit of festive cheer .

 

[johnny on the spot]

 

[Chancy Termites]

 

[NPBlue]

My husband asked me what I wanted for my birthday, so I replied I would like a rubber plant.

Imagine my surprise when he bought me a large tyre factory in Yorkshire.

 

[Ancient Citizen]

Why do science fiction films say that you will stop existing if you killed you Grandad in the past?
I killed my Grandad last year and I'm fine.

 

[BimboBob]

 

[BimboBob]

[bigimg]http://viz.co.uk/wp-content/uploads/2014/11/Screen-Shot-2014-11-06-at-09.39.41.png[/bigimg]

 

[BimboBob]

 

[BimboBob]