This last year or so has been as bad as when i first became ill 34 yrs ago, having sepsis has been a step too far. I am not able to do anything i could do a year ago , i am not taking care of myself too well. I have no gas boiler now so i am wrapped up all the time, i dont mind that too much
I adore merlin and cant ever give him up, he was traumatised when i left him at the vets all day for his recent operation , he has become very clingy , the thought of leaving him back at the sanctuary and terrified , for a long wait as black cats are the last to be adopted ,would break my heart
So i am here as long as merlin is alive, then i go as well. He is only just five so i might still be here prattling on about him in ten years time, who knows
Cancer has ravaged my family and there is just me and my older brother left , he is about ten years older than me so i could be all alone in the near future
I am been thinking a lot about the young me , before the age of thirty when i was fit and healthy and a bit of a handful, ha, i loved my life, i was sporty , worked hard played hard, one marriage down the next one not too far off, comfortable but not well off , we saved all year for two weeks in greece , going back time and time again . If you have good health you can do anything , go anywhere, enjoy
I am sorry for the ill people who cling to and fight for every second of life to be with their family. Please dont take offence at what i have said, we all have different circumstances
I spend all my time on here for company , for laughing , some would say fighting ! My beloved blueboys have made me very happy , i am not disappointed this season , i cant find it in me to expect them to keep going year after year. I wish everybody well even the ones i have on ignore
Sorry for the long post , it has been coming for a while. Me and merlin to the end !