Joke thread

[Ragnarok]

I found it very hard getting over my addiction to the Hokey Cokey. But I’ve turned myself around and that’s what it’s all about.

oakiecokie?

 

[oakiecokie]

I found it very hard getting over my addiction to the Hokey Cokey. But I’ve turned myself around and that’s what it’s all about.

Oi !! Stop using my name in vain.

 

[r.soleofsalford]

I found it very hard getting over my addiction to the Hokey Cokey. But I’ve turned myself around and that’s what it’s all about.

Oi !! Stop using my name in vain.

i`m sure you use mine in vain quite often

 

[2sheikhs]

A deaf old man wasn't feeling too good so he went to the doctors for a check up. He took his mrs so she could explain what the doctor was saying. After a thorough examination, the doc says,"well I can't find anything wrong with you but I'll need some samples off you and run some tests. I'll need a sample of your blood, your sweat, your piss, your shit and your jizz."
The old man turns to his mrs and says, "what did he say?"
She says, " he wants you to give him your underpants".

 

[lefty goldblatt]

I found it very hard getting over my addiction to the Hokey Cokey. But I’ve turned myself around and that’s what it’s all about.

You heretic!

On the anniversary of the Hokey Cokey man's death!

Didn't you know his funeral last 8 hours? All those shennanigans with his left leg and the coffin, I thought it'd never end.

 

[i kne albert davy]

Paddy sets Murphy up on a blind date, Paddy says "she's a lovely girl". But there's something you need to know, she's expecting a baby. "Next day paddy asked Murphy how he went on" Alright said Murphy apart from she was an hour late and I felt a right twat sat at the end of the bar in just a nappy.

 

[manchester blue]

The Pope visits Ireland and asks a local what he thinks of County Down. "It's been shite since Carol Vorderman left" he replied.

 

[bazbarrybazzer]

I was standing in a bar and this little Chinese guy comes in the pub, stands next to me and starts drinking. I said to him "do you know any of those martial arts things like Lung-fu Karate or ju-jitsu? He says, No why the fook you ask me that? Is it because i`m Chinese? No i said it`s because you`re drinking my pint you little coont.

 

[Blue Maverick]

I've just had my first shit since the horse meat crisis, it was good to firm and soft in places.

 

[Txiki Vimto]

Why did the chicken cross the road?

The farmer accidentally left the gate open, so it wandered around and happened to cross a road.

Bloke goes into a chippy and orders meat pie, chips peas and gravy. The chip shop lady says "Sorry love, we've only got steak and kidney left."

"It's alright," says the bloke "I've got my bike outside."

That sums up my reaction. I'm going to need that one explaining.