Joke thread

[TangerineSteve17]

I went into a barber's, sat down in the chair and the woman said, "How do you want me to cut your hair?"
I said, "Like Liam Gallagher, please."
So she put on a parka and shades and said, "Alright knobhead. 'Ow d'yer want your fuckin' 'air cut?"

Bought a new boomerang, but I'm having trouble throwing the old one away.

 

[Pelly Greeny]

Woman at the Clinique counter in Kendals asked me what grooming products I used.

Going off her reaction I'm guessing 'Haribos' wasn't the answer she was expecting.

 

[Cheese Butty]

I'd like to thank everyone who took the time to help me to understand the definition of the word multitude.
It means a lot.

 

[mrcunny]

I just can't get excited about a sporting event where a government have spent millions funding it yet people live in squalor and deprivation where drugs are rife and life expectation is low.....but enough of the commonwealth games in Glasgow...the World Cup starts tonight!!!!!

 

[brass neck]

Ok
I'm going to say this clearly

It's a fucking joke thread. Not a philosophical story thread you über ****

Well thanks, I also am going to say this clearly. You are correct, this is a joke thread, which is why you feature so heavily in it. Politics and humor put together eh, huh God forbid!

 

[Lavinda Past]

Ok
I'm going to say this clearly

It's a fucking joke thread. Not a philosophical story thread you über ****

Well thanks, I also am going to say this clearly. You are correct, this is a joke thread, which is why you feature so heavily in it. Politics and humor put together eh, huh God forbid!

But it wasn't funny... It was simply a sad indictment of everything that has always been wrong with politics.


This is a JOKE thread.

 

[BimboBob]

Doctor Doctor, My Dad thinks he's a chicken.

Well, why don't you bring him here and I'll cure him.

Well I would but we'd miss the eggs.

 

[brass neck]

Ok
I'm going to say this clearly

It's a fucking joke thread. Not a philosophical story thread you über ****

Well thanks, I also am going to say this clearly. You are correct, this is a joke thread, which is why you feature so heavily in it. Politics and humor put together eh, huh God forbid!

But it wasn't funny... It was simply a sad indictment of everything that has always been wrong with politics.


This is a JOKE thread.

Ahhh right, well if it's about the quality of the jokes, let's have a look back shall we. Yes this is a JOKE thread, some of the material however seems to be a bit racist stereotype based. Are Muslims fare game but politicians are beyond reproach?

I think the issue is you were quite obviously bummed as child and your angry and frustrated. Get some counseling, there is plenty available.

 

[gazinho]

Well thanks, I also am going to say this clearly. You are correct, this is a joke thread, which is why you feature so heavily in it. Politics and humor put together eh, huh God forbid!

But it wasn't funny... It was simply a sad indictment of everything that has always been wrong with politics.


This is a JOKE thread.

Ahhh right, well if it's about the quality of the jokes, let's have a look back shall we. Yes this is a JOKE thread, some of the material however seems to be a bit racist stereotype based. Are Muslims fare game but politicians are beyond reproach?

I think the issue is you were quite obviously bummed as child and your angry and frustrated. Get some counseling, there is plenty available.

 

[jimharri]

A dyslexic kid asks his mum for a McDonald's, she says 'You can have one if you can spell it.'

The kid replies 'Fuck it, i'll have a KCF!'