AntonDonJuan
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- Joined
- 2 Jun 2007
- Messages
- 13,217
Now thats funny!Hamann Pineapple said:
Joke thread
- Thread starter mrcunny
- Start date
foetus
Well-Known Member
nw42 said:foetus said:A blind man walks into a store with his 'seeing eye' dog.
All of a sudden, he picks up the leash and begins swinging the dog over his head.
The manger runs up and demands, "WTF are you doing?????"
The blind man replies "just having a look around."
[bigimg]http://i1.ytimg.com/vi/6ufRWDXhN2o/hqdefault.jpg[/bigimg]
A few days later and that response still makes me laugh haha
Squelch
Well-Known Member
Two medical students were walking along the street when they saw an old man walking with his legs spread apart. He was stiff-legged and walking slowly.
One student said to his friend: "I'm sure that poor old man has Peltry Syndrome. Those people walk just like that."
The other student says: "No, I don't think so. The old man surely has Zovitzki Syndrome.
He walks slowly and his legs are apart, just as we learned in class."
Since they couldn't agree, they decided to ask the old man. They approached him and one of the students said to him, "We're medical students and couldn't help but notice the way you walk. But we couldn't agree on the syndrome you might have. Could you tell us what it is?"
The old man said, "I'll tell you. But first you tell me what you two fine medical students think."
The first student said, "I think it's Peltry Syndrome."
The old man said, "You thought - but you are wrong."
The other student said, "I think you have Zovitzki Syndrome."
The old man said, "You thought - but you are wrong."
So they asked him, "Well, old-timer, what do you have?"
The old man said, "I thought it was WIND - but I was wrong, too!"
One student said to his friend: "I'm sure that poor old man has Peltry Syndrome. Those people walk just like that."
The other student says: "No, I don't think so. The old man surely has Zovitzki Syndrome.
He walks slowly and his legs are apart, just as we learned in class."
Since they couldn't agree, they decided to ask the old man. They approached him and one of the students said to him, "We're medical students and couldn't help but notice the way you walk. But we couldn't agree on the syndrome you might have. Could you tell us what it is?"
The old man said, "I'll tell you. But first you tell me what you two fine medical students think."
The first student said, "I think it's Peltry Syndrome."
The old man said, "You thought - but you are wrong."
The other student said, "I think you have Zovitzki Syndrome."
The old man said, "You thought - but you are wrong."
So they asked him, "Well, old-timer, what do you have?"
The old man said, "I thought it was WIND - but I was wrong, too!"
ChrisNUFC
Well-Known Member
A sexually active woman tells her plastic surgeon that she wanted her vaginal lips reduced in size because they were too loose and floppy.
Out of embarrassment she insisted that the surgery be kept a secret and the surgeon agreed.
Awakening from the anaesthesia after the surgery she found 3 roses carefully placed beside her on the bed.
Outraged, she immediately calls in the surgeon. 'I thought I asked you not to tell anyone about my operation!'
The surgeon told her he had carried out her wish for confidentiality and that the first rose was from him:
'I felt sad because you went through this all by yourself.'
'The second rose is from my nurse. She assisted me in the surgery and understood because she had had the same procedure done some time ago.'
'And what about the third rose ?' she asked.
'That's from a man upstairs in the burns unit. He wanted to thank you for his new ears.'
Out of embarrassment she insisted that the surgery be kept a secret and the surgeon agreed.
Awakening from the anaesthesia after the surgery she found 3 roses carefully placed beside her on the bed.
Outraged, she immediately calls in the surgeon. 'I thought I asked you not to tell anyone about my operation!'
The surgeon told her he had carried out her wish for confidentiality and that the first rose was from him:
'I felt sad because you went through this all by yourself.'
'The second rose is from my nurse. She assisted me in the surgery and understood because she had had the same procedure done some time ago.'
'And what about the third rose ?' she asked.
'That's from a man upstairs in the burns unit. He wanted to thank you for his new ears.'
ashytheblue
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- Joined
- 16 Jan 2009
- Messages
- 516
Japanese girl was making love and accidentally passed wind. she quickly explained, "oh me so sorry, you make my front hole so happy, back hole blew you kiss"
moonshiner
Well-Known Member
A guy sticks his head into a barber shop and asks, "How long before I can get a haircut?"
The barber looks around and says "About 2 hours"
The guy leaves.
A few days later the same guy sticks his head in the door and asks "How long before I can get a haircut"
The barber looks around his shop full of customers and says "About 3 hours"
The guy leaves.
A week later the same guy sticks his head in the door and asks "How long before I can get a hair cut?"
The barber says "I'm not very busy today,so about half an hour"
The guy leaves.
The barber who is intrigued by this, looks over at a friend in the shop and says "Hey Bill. Follow that guy and see where he goes"
A little while later Bill comes back into the shop,laughing hysterically.
The barber asks, "Well, where did he go when he left here?"
Bill looks up, tears in his eyes and says "Your house"
The barber looks around and says "About 2 hours"
The guy leaves.
A few days later the same guy sticks his head in the door and asks "How long before I can get a haircut"
The barber looks around his shop full of customers and says "About 3 hours"
The guy leaves.
A week later the same guy sticks his head in the door and asks "How long before I can get a hair cut?"
The barber says "I'm not very busy today,so about half an hour"
The guy leaves.
The barber who is intrigued by this, looks over at a friend in the shop and says "Hey Bill. Follow that guy and see where he goes"
A little while later Bill comes back into the shop,laughing hysterically.
The barber asks, "Well, where did he go when he left here?"
Bill looks up, tears in his eyes and says "Your house"
kawkav
Well-Known Member
johnmc said:
he was busy shagging Marry on sunday , couldn't get back t eggs 'til monday
carlos tevez is a blue
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- 25 Nov 2010
- Messages
- 16,121
"knock knock" "whos there?" "irish stew" "irish stew who" "irish stew in the name of the law!"