Joke thread

[meltonblue]

There's a couple of Lesbians who go in our local, they were known as "Bean One" and "Bean Two", unfortunately with all the PC/Woke shit they're now known by just their first names. They'd still be happy to be called Bean and they're always up for a laugh.

Nah sod that, if they’re happy being called it then no need to change it. It’d only be people that knew them that could take offence at it anyway.

 

[Lavinda Past]

I rang my doctor and told him that ithought I might have contracted monkeypox......

He told me to swing by the surgery on Monday morning.

 

[Lavinda Past]

I've been suffering from a bad back but it's much better now. The doctor found an amazing cure that involved injecting my spine with mercury.

Problem is I'm 6ft 2 in summer and 5ft 4 in winter

 

[Lavinda Past]

"Always the bridesmaid, never the bride."

A handy rule of thumb when trying to pull at weddings.

 

[Lavinda Past]

A bloke goes into the Benefits Office and says,
"I want to complain... I've been ringing 08001730, for three days now and nobody answers!"

The receptionist replies, "Those are our opening hours".

 

[Lavinda Past]

I met a bloke called Ian Tevvy the other day.


He told me that his brother was the lead singer of the Hollies.

 

[Lavinda Past]

 

[jimharri]

Reading certain threads on here, you get the urge to get on a train and find someone asleep.

 

[Stuuuuuu]

Reading certain threads on here, you get the urge to get on a train and find someone asleep.

Slap that sleeping shitbag.

 

[Lavinda Past]

Slap that sleeping shitbag.