Joke thread
- Thread starter mrcunny
- Start date
Lavinda Past
Well-Known Member
When my mate tried calling the suicide hotline, he was put on hold for an hour.
I can't believe they left him hanging for that long.
I can't believe they left him hanging for that long.
Grassland Blue
Well-Known Member
A man decides to become a monk, so off he goes to the monastery.
The Abbot tells him that it's a trappist order and he can only speak to him once a year and only say 3 words.
At the end of the first year the man goes to see the Abbot.
"Well brother, what are your 3 words?" he says.
The man replies, "Cell is cold" and goes out.
A Year passes and the man goes to see the Abbot again.
The Abbot says, "Well brother, what are your 3 words?"
"Bed is hard" says the man and goes out.
Another year goes by and the man goes to see the Abbot.
"Yes brother, what are your 3 words this time?"
"Food is crap" says the man and goes out.
A year goes by and the Abbot asks him, "What are your 3 words brother?"
The man says "I am leaving!"
The Abbot replies, "Thank the lord for that - you've done nothing but complain since you got here!"
The Abbot tells him that it's a trappist order and he can only speak to him once a year and only say 3 words.
At the end of the first year the man goes to see the Abbot.
"Well brother, what are your 3 words?" he says.
The man replies, "Cell is cold" and goes out.
A Year passes and the man goes to see the Abbot again.
The Abbot says, "Well brother, what are your 3 words?"
"Bed is hard" says the man and goes out.
Another year goes by and the man goes to see the Abbot.
"Yes brother, what are your 3 words this time?"
"Food is crap" says the man and goes out.
A year goes by and the Abbot asks him, "What are your 3 words brother?"
The man says "I am leaving!"
The Abbot replies, "Thank the lord for that - you've done nothing but complain since you got here!"
Indaparkside
Well-Known Member
- Joined
- 28 Dec 2015
- Messages
- 14,970
Just been to see a forune teller in blackpool
She said do you want your palm read i said yes so she hit it with a hammer
She said your not going to have anymore children , the crystal ball rolled off the table and squashed my bollocks
She said do you want your palm read i said yes so she hit it with a hammer
She said your not going to have anymore children , the crystal ball rolled off the table and squashed my bollocks
Vienna_70
Well-Known Member
- Joined
- 18 Jun 2009
- Messages
- 41,113
- Location
- 100, 32, 106, +79, 19
- Team supported
- Treble Winners 2022/23.
Jethro went up to Wales for a few days.
While he was there, he went into a pub, and started chatting with one of the regulars.
"Are you local?" he asked Jethro.
"Well, I am, when I’m home."
"So where are you from?"
"Cornwall," replied Jethro.
"Have you lived in Cornwall all your life?"
"Christ," said Jethro, "not yet!"
While he was there, he went into a pub, and started chatting with one of the regulars.
"Are you local?" he asked Jethro.
"Well, I am, when I’m home."
"So where are you from?"
"Cornwall," replied Jethro.
"Have you lived in Cornwall all your life?"
"Christ," said Jethro, "not yet!"
