Joke thread
- Thread starter mrcunny
- Start date
Dave Ewing's Back 'eader
Well-Known Member
Lavinda Past said:brass neck said:
But it wasn't funny... It was simply a sad indictment of everything that has always been wrong with politics.
This is a JOKE thread.
It was a joke on two levels. One, it made me laugh, and two, there's no bigger joke than a British MP!
Helmet Cole
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- Joined
- 23 Jul 2007
- Messages
- 8,054
garymj said:
What a truly excellent joke! - had me in stitches that one.
TangerineSteve17
Well-Known Member
I hope nobody finds out that I'm a secret agent. I just feel so embarrassed about being a property salesman.
I spent the first ten years of my life thinking my dad was Black. Turned out he was just a chimney sweep that didn't shower until I was all tucked up in bed.
Knights in white satin?..........Chairs probably.
I spent the first ten years of my life thinking my dad was Black. Turned out he was just a chimney sweep that didn't shower until I was all tucked up in bed.
Knights in white satin?..........Chairs probably.
TangerineSteve17
Well-Known Member
Homeless guys are so gullible, it's beggars belief.
I'm just going to have to try and find the way to San Jose myself. Everyone I've asked so far has been a complete twat.
A mate insisted a kebab is a great way to soak up the beer. I maintain a mop is better.
I'm just going to have to try and find the way to San Jose myself. Everyone I've asked so far has been a complete twat.
A mate insisted a kebab is a great way to soak up the beer. I maintain a mop is better.
mammutly
Well-Known Member
A cruise ship founders on a reef, and a man just manages to swim some miles and crawl up on a desert island. After recovering from the ordeal, he begins to explore and finds to his great surprise (and pleasure) that the only other survivor of this terrible tragedy is Cindy Crawford.
They build a lean-to and find some food and water. After a few weeks, it becomes clear that help is not on the way, so they start to get intimate. The guy is clearly ecstatic for a couple of weeks, but one morning she awakes to find him moping under a tree.
"What's the matter?" Cindy says: "Is there anything I can do?"
"Well, I am a little shy about asking you," he replies: "But, I really miss having a friend, could you take some of that charcoal from the fire and paint a mustache on your face?"
"A mustache? Well... I... I suppose so", and she does it.
"Now, there's just one other thing. Can I call you Bob... like my friend?"
"Bob? Well... if it will make you feel better... all right."
"Great!" he cries, looks at her and says: "Bob! You're never gonna believe who I'm fucking!"
They build a lean-to and find some food and water. After a few weeks, it becomes clear that help is not on the way, so they start to get intimate. The guy is clearly ecstatic for a couple of weeks, but one morning she awakes to find him moping under a tree.
"What's the matter?" Cindy says: "Is there anything I can do?"
"Well, I am a little shy about asking you," he replies: "But, I really miss having a friend, could you take some of that charcoal from the fire and paint a mustache on your face?"
"A mustache? Well... I... I suppose so", and she does it.
"Now, there's just one other thing. Can I call you Bob... like my friend?"
"Bob? Well... if it will make you feel better... all right."
"Great!" he cries, looks at her and says: "Bob! You're never gonna believe who I'm fucking!"
bazbarrybazzer
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- Joined
- 22 Oct 2007
- Messages
- 2,461
I got called gullible the other day, the cheek of it, i almost dropped my bible.
Ste1969
Well-Known Member
I asked Roy Hodgson if he would consider 4-4-2 next week, he said "No we'll probably go 7-4-7 it's wider and offers more leg room".
DavidSilvasLeftFoot
Well-Known Member
Three Latvian men brag about sons. First Latvian say, "My son is soldier he rape many womens."
Second man say "my son is farmer he have many potato"
Third man say "My son die of malnourish, but is okay over is suffering"
Other mans say "Oh you wins" But they is all sad
Knock Knock
Who there?
Is Latvian Potato seller
Okay I opens door
Not really potato seller, is Latvian secret police, you is execute
Latvian girl sday to father, "I want go to America one day"
Latvian Father say "Okay i take you America"
Much tears of joy from daughter
Latvian man use tears to salt potato
Man has idea
"I no take you to America"
More salt for potato
Latvian go to Potato seller
He say "I give you five rubles for potato"
Potato Seller say "ten rubles"
Latvian man say "eight"
Seller say "Okay is deal"
Latvian man say " I ashamed, I no has money"
Potato seller say "Is okay I no has potato"
Latvian Man come in home from cold with potato for feed family
Family take by secret police to Siberia
Latvian Man say "Is okay, I have potato to myself I no die of malnourish"
But potato have worm, and he die of freeze. Is very sad
Second man say "my son is farmer he have many potato"
Third man say "My son die of malnourish, but is okay over is suffering"
Other mans say "Oh you wins" But they is all sad
Knock Knock
Who there?
Is Latvian Potato seller
Okay I opens door
Not really potato seller, is Latvian secret police, you is execute
Latvian girl sday to father, "I want go to America one day"
Latvian Father say "Okay i take you America"
Much tears of joy from daughter
Latvian man use tears to salt potato
Man has idea
"I no take you to America"
More salt for potato
Latvian go to Potato seller
He say "I give you five rubles for potato"
Potato Seller say "ten rubles"
Latvian man say "eight"
Seller say "Okay is deal"
Latvian man say " I ashamed, I no has money"
Potato seller say "Is okay I no has potato"
Latvian Man come in home from cold with potato for feed family
Family take by secret police to Siberia
Latvian Man say "Is okay, I have potato to myself I no die of malnourish"
But potato have worm, and he die of freeze. Is very sad