Pelly Greeny
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- 21 May 2013
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- 2,211
Regurgitated from 20 years ago! Any Diana ones to go with it?hackneyslim said:
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Joke thread
- Thread starter mrcunny
- Start date
johnmc
Well-Known Member
People say Bruce Willis is one dimensinal and only plays one type of character in his movies. Of course thats going to be the case. You know what they say about old habits.
hackneyslim
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- 24 Jul 2008
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- 1,730
What do honey bees and Mercedes have in common?Pelly Greeny said:Any Diana ones to go with it?
They both make Royal jelly.
Zuriblue
Well-Known Member
A man's driving along the road when he passes another man, naked and chained to a tree - butt facing the world, arms round it as if hugging it. Stopping his car, the guy asks the unfortunate how he came to be in such a plight.
"Well" he begins, "I was driving along in my brand new sports car, very proud of myself, when I saw a young lady hitchhiking. I pulled up, asked her if she wanted a lift, and we got talking after she accepted my offer.
"After a while, things were hotting up, and she asked me to pull over for a bit of alfresco fun. I do so, and the next thing I know, I'm given an almighty whack on the head, and when I come to, I'm stripped naked, chained to a tree, my car, phone and wallet are gone, and there's no apparent way out of it!"
The passing motorist listens, nods sagely, then drops his trousers and says "It's just not your day really, is it?".
"Well" he begins, "I was driving along in my brand new sports car, very proud of myself, when I saw a young lady hitchhiking. I pulled up, asked her if she wanted a lift, and we got talking after she accepted my offer.
"After a while, things were hotting up, and she asked me to pull over for a bit of alfresco fun. I do so, and the next thing I know, I'm given an almighty whack on the head, and when I come to, I'm stripped naked, chained to a tree, my car, phone and wallet are gone, and there's no apparent way out of it!"
The passing motorist listens, nods sagely, then drops his trousers and says "It's just not your day really, is it?".
pudge said:You can tell the sex of an ant by dropping it into water.
If it sinks: girl ant
If it floats: boy ant
[bigimg]http://i.imgur.com/vXwkyAB.gif[/bigimg]
Pudge, that is a joke, I loved that one, very good.
SteWadda
Well-Known Member
Zuriblue said:A man's driving along the road when he passes another man, naked and chained to a tree - butt facing the world, arms round it as if hugging it. Stopping his car, the guy asks the unfortunate how he came to be in such a plight.
"Well" he begins, "I was driving along in my brand new sports car, very proud of myself, when I saw a young lady hitchhiking. I pulled up, asked her if she wanted a lift, and we got talking after she accepted my offer.
"After a while, things were hotting up, and she asked me to pull over for a bit of alfresco fun. I do so, and the next thing I know, I'm given an almighty whack on the head, and when I come to, I'm stripped naked, chained to a tree, my car, phone and wallet are gone, and there's no apparent way out of it!"
The passing motorist listens, nods sagely, then drops his trousers and says "It's just not your day really, is it?".
This is a benny hill sketch only it’s a woman who has been ravished by red Indians and the sheriff terms up
Alex the Blue
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- 14 Sep 2010
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- 1,276
The Irish have solved their own fuel problems. They've imported 50 million tonnes of sand from the Arabs and they're going to drill for their own oil.
chris63
Well-Known Member
It is claimed that a Scottish lottery winner is hoping to buy Rangers FC.
His wife says she has no idea what he would have bought if he got a fourth number up.
His wife says she has no idea what he would have bought if he got a fourth number up.
ChicagoBlue
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- 10 Jan 2009
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- 18,731
Do you know why cannibals won't eat clowns?...............They taste funny!
Two nuns in the shower.
One says, "Where's the soap?"
"Yes it does, doesn't it" moaned the other.
Golden oldie ba-dum-dums
Two nuns in the shower.
One says, "Where's the soap?"
"Yes it does, doesn't it" moaned the other.
Golden oldie ba-dum-dums
Jesus wept... Pathetic on all sorts of levels.Alex the Blue said:The Irish have solved their own fuel problems. They've imported 50 million tonnes of sand from the Arabs and they're going to drill for their own oil.